MORE CHANGES....

To begin where I left off.  Veteran man flew in on Sunday from the East Coast and immediately called me from the airport and said he would be at my house in an hour.  He wanted to go home to shower and shave before he saw me.  He is the most unusal man.  Very committed to keeping in touch but very respectful when he sees me.  He also is very supportive.  He has me a little confused as I'm not use to men that act like that.  He says he is very patient.  I guess he is, as he han't made any moves on me, thank God.

Desi sent an email saying he was busy, busy and how was I doing.  He is leaving for Europe on Thursday and I know he has tons of lose ends to tie up.  I'll see him in December if I make it off the operating table.  I'm sure I will.  I'm too fiesty to go anywhere else but back to my room after the procedure. I've promised everyone that I wouldn't pull an Andy Rooney.

I spent the weekend at home, although I did go out and do a bunch of errands and Monday was another run around day for me.  I need to get everything organized prior to leaving for a month of operation and re-hab.  Might not be that long, but just in case.

I had a call late in the day from Veteran man who asked me to go to his Yacht Club with him for a snack and Monday night football.  Why not?  He came  the house to pick me up and off we went.  The game was very one sided so we left early.  Actully returned home around eight.  He stayed for a couple minutes and left.  It is nice to go out and not have to worry about fending someone off for a change.   Although lately, I have limited my guys to Desi and Veteran man.  The slew of men that I saw the last year I've ignored and decided to forget.  No one memorable. My new motto is ignore, ignore.

The Fashion show is coming up and I got drug into modeling which I didn't want to do.  Someone bowed out and I was it.  I'm none to happy about it, but in a pinch I'll help out.  It is only three outfits so not a full day of stripping and dressing. Although  Co-Chair I have to be there at eight and it ends at four. A tiring day.

Tonight is a meeting and my DA friend wants to ask me a favor. He called me last week but wouldn't say what he wanted.  Like I don't have enough on my plate. Not sure what I can do for him, but I'll see what he wants tonight. I also heard from my good neighbor from the old neighborhood and a few other people.  Life is rolling along and it really is day by day.

Love to all.

BIRTHDAY WEEK ALMOST OVER....

My birthday goes on at least for a week.  I'm blessed to have a lot of friends that want to contact and fete me to dinners, lunches and give me gifts. 

Thursday nights dinner was fun with the girls and it turned into a four and a half hour affair.  People, especially men, wonder what we girls talk about for that long.  There is never a lull in the conversation and there is always a lot of laughter.

The next day my two good girlfriends took me to the Balboa Bay Club for lunch.  One of them gave me the most ginormous sun hat with a beach cover up to match.  The other a Visa gift certificate to spend as I like.  With these plus the ones I received from the girls the night before I made quite a haul. The girls are always so generous with gifts, dinners and lunches. I'm lucky to have them all in my life for so many years.

I'm edging closer to my knee surgery.  I'm hoping the third time is a charm.  Same knee, same pain, big pain!  I'm getting anxious about it and just want it over, this will be through the Christmas holidays and I will be incapacitated during those dates for at least six weeks.  Christmas was never my favorite holiday,  I always preferred Easter....maybe it was the new outfit you got in the Spring.  I always found Christmas to be sad time with people trying to hard to have fun.  New Year's Eve is right along Christmas for a crummy holiday.


There are other things going on in my life that I won't go into but suffice it to say when all is over I can breath again.  It is always the unknown that keeps you awake at night.  One can conjure up all kind of scenarios that are usually worse then the actuality, although this one is pretty bad and self induced.  One would think at my age I'd be smarter, but no!

Life is a learning lesson and if one doesn't learn from your experiences you are a lost cause, no matter how old you are.  I"m hoping I've learn a life lesson this time.  I seem to have skated for years without consequences and now it is time to pay the piper, one way or the other. As Oprah says, "we all have the power to change ourselves."  I need to remember that.

Veteran man made a fast phone call to me yesterday.  He is still on the East coast but said he wanted to touch base.  He is flying home to night and said he would call me when he got back into Orange County tonight. He really has been keeping in touch a lot.  Maybe I'll get smart and gravitate towards him and finally say goodbye to Desi, who is a lost cause when it comes to longevity in a relationship.  Unfortunately it is all about the chemistry and Desi and I do have that, at least for the time being. Guess I'll have to start getting over that one. I know things with Desi will never be normal, whatever that is, he has way too much on his plate.

The one thing that is a plus about being by yourself is that you don't have to answer to anyone or take care of anyone else.  After years of doing just that I should be happy that I don't have to anymore. It is always a process to adjust to life's changes.

Tomorrow my neighbor is taking me out for an early dinner for my birthday.  That should be the end of the celebrating for another year.

Off to do some work around the house.

THURSDAY...

I did go out to a Veterans program on Tuesday night.  It was so well done by the people that put it on.  It honered all the MIA's and POW's plus the three homes in the  Orange County area that are half way house for the homeless veterans, men and women, that are on Orange Counties streets. I was privileged  to sit with ten of these men who have served their country in Viet Nam and Desert Storm. 

Tuesday, my birthday, brought in so many phone calls from everywhere  It was about six thirty in the evening when I left for the event for the vetereans and Desi still hadn't called to wish me happy birthday.  I was more then a little upset by that.  However, on the way, I had a phone call in the car with Desi singing happy birthday and saying he hoped I had had a good day.  He was busy packing things up to go back up North and when he called he was on the road near his destination.  He knew he should have called me sooner and said to me, "I bet you thought I forgot." My answer to that was "no, I thought you were just punishing me."  He can be a brat sometimes, although a handsome one. I really thought since he had come down to take me out he considered that my birthday.   When I returned home that night there was a message on my machine with him singing happy birthday to Lucie and tell Loree to get it to her.  Ah, the Desi - Lucie thing, which will never go away. At least he tracked me down. I find that I totally over think things and cause myself more anquish then necessary.  Reality is not as bad as what your mind can conjure up.


Mr. Veteran man left for the East coast yesterday.  He sent me numerous texts again plus called several times while he was at different airports.  Then after he arrived back East he called me from the hotel.  He really is being attentive.  Why can't I like him more? He is in the process of redoing his home and has asked me to help him find some art work on the internet that he wants.  I told him I would since googling things is no big deal.  Ultimately it is his decision to get what he likes.  He said he thought I had good taste and he loved my home, hence the request. I really am going to try to be receptive to this man. 

Then a surprise call from the man that contacted me from Las Vegas who had been in Europe, Turkey etc.  He wants to fly down to Orange County to meet me.  I told him my time was pretty taken up until after January.  He said he would continue to call me and perhaps we could get to know each other via phone conversations.  At this point in time I wish everyone would go away.  I need to regroup and as long a you are being bombarded you can't focus on youself.

My DA friend is another one.  I don't know what it is about me but I seem to bring out the animal instinct in men.  My cousin told me about a book to read, "The Art of Seduction" that I downloaded on my Kindle.  I was telling the DA about it and he looked at me and said, "why are you reading it, you wrote it."  Oy!  I think I need to start dressing and looking like a little old lady, and look maybe like I look when I get up in the morning.  That should be the way I look all day.  OMG!

Tonight my girlfriends are taking me to dinner.  My one friend is picking me up and then tomorrow is another lunch. 

I'm trying to get paperwork done which is never ending.  Off to the desk to final up things before I need to get myself together for tonight.

BIRTHDAY TODAY.....

I really am blessed to have so many people in my life.  I have had numerous contacts call, email, send cards and generally be there for me.  From New York, Colorado, Ohio, Minnesota, Nevada and near by,  I have heard from a lot of people.  Facebook brought out even more.  I should realize that I'm not alone.  My brother calls all the time and I'm lucky to have such a good relationship with him..  I know so many families that are fractured for one reason or the other.  Timm and I, through the years, have bonded and can talk about anything without being judgemental. I'm lucky to have him in my life.

I plan on staying home most of the day.  I don't think, at least at this point in the day that I will go out.  The weather is cold and my mood is one to make me want to hunker down and do nothing. Although that isn't the case around the house.  There is always something to do.  I blame my Mother, who was a neat freak, for giving me such an over the top work ethic.  God forbid things are a mess. especially in this small house.

I need to start thinking about getting things together for the hospital and for the r e -hab center.  I have to take clothes etc.  Nothing else new at this point.

Thanks to everyone who has been there for me.

MONDAY AGAIN...

I'm sure everyone has noticed that as one gets older the years seem to fly by.  It is that time, space continuum kicking in.  The shorter time you have left to live the faster the time goes to the end.  Pleasant thought.

I did go to the Mall this morning and met with the women who are going to model in the fashion show.  Being the co-chair, I don't have to model this year..  It is a lot of work and not very much fun, contrary to popular belief.

After the meeting with the women I called Veteran man and drove to his house which was close to the Mall.  His cleaning lady was there and he took me on a tour of the house and showed me what he was doing and what had been done.  He refinished all the floors and the wood color is beautiful.  The original floors are red oak and came out a stunning color. I met his dog, a  yellow lab, who was thrilled to have company.  Only labs.

After the tour of the house he drove me over to a small restaurant where we had a salad for lunch.  He had several appointments that afternoon and I needed to get home so we said our goodbyes  when I returned home I had a lot of birthday cards in the mail from so many good friends.  It is wonderful to be remembered and to know that people care.

I also had a several phone calls from people in other States wishing a happy birthday tomorrow.  One of the biggest surprise was a lovely card from my step-grand daughter that I adore.  She is so sweet.  She sent a gift card to Barnes and Noble for me.  My brother and sister in law sent two very generous gifts and my Aunt and cousin in Ohio also sent me a gift certificate to one of my favorite stores. 

I'm so blessed and I think I need to remember that before I go into one of my declines.  Since Sunday was such a horrible day, emotionally for me, I decided to shake myself out of the doldrums and get my act together.  I figure in twenty years when I'm dead and gone, no one will care what I went through or what happened in my life or any one's elses for that matter.

To get off that subject.  I thought I was off all the dating sites/  Low and behold I heard from a man that lives in Los Angeles, to young, but 6'6" tall. He wanted to get to know me. I am always amazed that a young man, this one age forty nine, would want to get to know someone my age.  I know age is only a number and Desi says I don't look or act it, but maybe that is because I'm retarded.  Ha.!  So no, I'm not going to pursue that one for sure.

So that was today.  Things are what they are an it is day by day.

FINALLY GOT IT.....

Cold, raining and miserable on this Sunday.  I actually  have put the fireplace on for warmth not ambiance.  Being in a puddle seems to be the mode of the day.

Last night Desi and I went out for my birthday dinner, which is coming up on November 8. We ended up going to The Five Crowns, which was a big disappointment.  This place was one of my favorite restaurants until last night.  The paper had said that they remodeled and changed the menu.  The remodel, we decided only looked like they had dusted.  What was an obvious change wasn't a big deal.  The service was terrible and the food greasy.  Very disappointing.  However, it was my choice, so I lived with it. Desi was thrilled I couldn't blame him for the choice.

After dinner we drove to Dana Point to Brio to dance to the live band they have on the weekends. We, again, had a good time. Again too, we were noticed by several couples that commented on how good we looked together.  I don't know why people feel the need to tell us that, but it is nice to hear. We do make a statement, probably because we are both tall.

I really wasn't myself.  There have been so many things that have happened and are in the pipeline I am having a hard time being optimistic.  Of course Desi pointed that out and said everything will be fine.  Mr." glass half full". I am a "glass half empty" person and Desi said I "lost the glass." He maybe right.  Might be time for a new glass.

 We have a very strange relationship, if you can call it that  When we first met we said things would only be casual.   Since his work schedule and his being out of town most of the time deems it the only way it can be.  I just need to enjoy the time we have together and stop being a "Gloomy Gussie.  Being free to do what I want when I want is a big plus.  Not having to take care of a man is an even bigger plus. Being able to go out with whom I choose is even better. We basically are at different spots in our lives and I need to remember that. I just need to get my life together and get back on track and I WILL!

So, with that being said, I have decided to  adhere to the casual edict and go on with my life.  When he is around he is around and when not, I"m free to do what I want.  As he said, "you don't know, you may find someone that makes you "star struck." and say goodbye to me.  Who knows he may very well be right  .We decided we would keep seeing each other for fun until the fun goes away. He does drive , sometimes for four to five hours to take me out, so I should realize he really does want to see me and he says he likes me.

So, Veteran man texted me yesterday morning more then once, and then did the same today.  Desi left about an hour before and I wasn't in any mood to talk to Veteran man about anything.  I posed a couple questions to Desi that threw him....good.  One was "what about retirement?"  The second one was, "where do you see yourself ten years from now.  Since Desi only lives the day for the day any thought of future plans threw him.  Interesting?   His answer to the second question was, on a hot beach with a cold beer." and probably living in Europe.  Since he doesn't drink beer I find it an interesting semi plan.

Veteran man wanted to know today if I was okay and I answered "so, so."  Between Desi being elusive and basically a pain in the butt,  the up coming operation on my knee, and a situation coming up I need to handle, plus the fashion show, I'm in a foul mood and not fit company to talk to anyone.

Tomorrow I have an early appointment to help with the fashion show fittings at Cold Water Creek  at the Mall. Then  Veteran man has invited me to stop by to see his house that he just finished remodeling and then go to lunch. There is another text asking me if I'm better.  Will answer it and sign off.

Hope every one's weekend was great.

TUES., WED

Last night I went to a meeting and sat with my friend that is a retired policeman who now works for the DA's office in Santa Ana.  We talked for several hours and had dinner prior to him leaving and me going into the meeting.  I forgot I was suppose to pack boxes for the Veterans, but luckily there were other people there to do that and I really wasn't missed.

Today, I did go to lunch with Veteran man.  He came early and said that he was getting his carpets cleaned and it would be a short lunch.  That was fine with me.  He managed to send me five emails and a couple texts prior to coming to get me.  He really is a nice man and also very respectful  Not your usual man, which makes it interesting.

I'm home tonight and actually there really isn't much happening.  Still working on Fashion Show stuff and will be glad when it is over.  To much pressure and to much to do.

Hugs