SENIOR MOMENT.....

Even my computer is having a senior moment.  Nothing but problems with the new laptop.  This too shall pass.

It finally happened.  I had a email from a man that said, "are we still on for tomorrow."  On for what?  I couldn't remember emailing him or making any kind of plans including, remembering h is name. Early stages of Alzheimer's or I just have too many people in my life.

I emailed the man back and told him that I had been so busy, which was the truth, and that I had forgotten to write anything down, which I obviously did, and would he please refresh my memory.  We made arrangements to meet the next day in San Juan Capistrano for lunch.

I sailed down the freeway.   Normally it takes about twenty minutes to a half hour to drive the twenty miles.  This time I made it in a little over fifteen minutes.  I was a little early and the store next to the restaurant was having a Sale.  I ran into the the place and managed to try on and purchase a animal print dress in a nano second.

After making my purchase I went to the restaurant next door and waited in the lobby.  Shortly thereafter this tall grey haired man came in.  He was a lot better looking then his picture, which I had looked up on the site before I left for the town down south that I was to meet him.

After we were seated and had ordered our ice teas, I asked him what he did for a living. He replied that he was a psycho therapist and had his own practice.  Oh goody!  Free mental health.  He was reserved at the beginning. as the lunch progressed he was a little more chatty and interesting. He had a tendency to ask a lot of question and want to know about the people I know and my feelings about life.  The therapist coming out in him.  I have to say I find writing this Blog therapy and a heck of lot cheaper.

It was a pleasant lunch but I had no desire to see him again.   He also lived near San Diego which did make it close for either of us.

The following day was Nancy's birthday.  I had taken my step grand kids to lunch and then drove down to see Nancy.  I took her a piece of chocolate cake since I think everyone should have some sort of cake for their birthday.  After spending a little time with her I drove to the alteration place to pick up a dress I had left for redoing.

I was meeting another guy from another site.  This man had contacted me for almost a year and I finally relented.  He was Irish, fairly portly, but nice looking.  Also in his seventies.  I met him for an early dinner.  He was a lot of fun and we had a great conversation for several hours.  It is amazing how you can appreciate all the different types of people that are out there.  He was respectful, no sexual comments and I enjoyed him for the moment.

On the drive down to the restaurant I had a cell phone call from a man that again, I didn't recognize.  Senior moments are coming more often.  He was a semi retired lawyer and was interested in going out.  I told him I would have to think about it and he should call me the following day.

Then Mr. Studio Man called and said he had made reservations at a beach restaurant for us on Sunday night.  When I pulled into the parking lot MP was calling.(I think the boys are on the move) I thought MP was calling me because of an email I had sent  him, but no he was just calling.  Not something he usually does unless we have something planned or he is coming down to see me.  We had such a good time last week and everyone that saw us said we made a striking couple. We have so much fun going  out together.

I think the reason I can't get interested in anyone else, although I'm trying, is that he is so much fun and we have a great connection together.  He was date number two last year and he has been a constant.

So we will see what the day and tomorrow brings. I haven't been writing much due to my computer problems and now  hope they are fixed and I can continue on.

Ciao

GOOD WEEKEND...

It has been a good previous week and weekend.  I kept busy during the week with the usual things.  For some reason the everyday things make the weeks fly by.  After asking MP if he had any idea if he was going to be available and then hearing from him telling me to go on with my plans, he called.

He asked if I was available on Friday or Saturday, I picked Saturday.  When he came to see me on Wednesday his comment was that I had picked Saturday because I had another date on Friday.  I looked at him and said "no"...how about we do both nights....I never thought he would say okay, he did.

MP has to drive hours to get to my area and did so three separate times over the weekend to come down to take me out.  We had a really nice time over the weekend eating and dancing at several clubs in the area. 

A friend of mine was having a birthday party for her husband on Sunday.  I forgot to say anything to MP probably because I never thought he would be able to go.  I finally asked him to come with me and he did.  There again, the party was outside in the backyard of my friends and they had a live band which was really good.  More dancing and more food.  About forty people.  MP stayed as long as he could before he had to leave for his home which is about fifty miles from me. 

So all in all it was a great week and comfortable, nice weekend.  Now this week.

I have lunch with a girlfriend of mine today, Monday.  A doctor appointment and meeting Tuesday, I'm taking my ex husbands grandchildren to lunch on Wednesday.  Wednesday night dinner out.  Thursday a company is coming to repair my car.

I managed to somehow scrape and dent my car fender on the passenger side.  I couldn't tell you how.  I'm having it repaired by a company that comes to your house to fix dents and repaint.  I swear I'm not parking in my tandem garage ever again.  The opening of the garage door is so narrow and hard to navigate.  I did the same thing to my other car.  I either need to learn to drive or never park in the garage again.  I think never parking again is the answer. You have to pull way over to the right so the car door can be opened.  I'm beginning to feel like my mother who always dinged her car going into her garage.  Just what I need, more dollars going out the door.

I have heard from several men on the sites.  Most of these guys, other then being very flattering, want permanent relationships.  They really don't read when you reply and say that you are at a different place then they are.

So, with all the above being said I'll sign off.

COMPUTER PROBLEMS

FINALLY!  The change over to the new laptop computer has been not easy.  I lost a lot of information on my Blog but now after having a tech guy work it out for me, I think I'm back on track.

Let me go  go back to what has been going on the last week.  A very odd thing happened on two of the sites at the same time and day.  One came in from a women that said she thought I would be perfect for her brother.  Of course her brother lived in Wyoming.  Now if you know me, that isn't my end of the world.  To many open spaces. She said that he would be willing to relocate.  Right!  A cowboy for me.  Just what I need.

The other gal decided I was perfect for a friend of hers that lived in the UK....that was bad enough, but he was only five foot seven.  Does no one read.
 
So off they go.

My studio man has been calling me and emailing me a lot.  His life is more complicated then MP's if that is possible.  He finally got his elderly mother out of the hospital and now with work and last night car problems, he is just running in circles.  I'm busy most of the time and since he lives so far away I not sure this will ever work out for another meeting.  We'll see what happens.  My mind is getting a little closed off to men at this point.

I'm really not looking for anyone.  I think that everyone out there, mostly, seem to be looking for a permanent relationship.  Since I am not, at least at this point, I seem to be wasting my time and theirs. Also, now that the book is finished, I don't have a need to see as many men as I did.  It was a self discovering journey at the beginning.  I think, now that I'm almost a year into it, I don't need to go forward. 

MP came down to see me yesterday.  He always has to fight the traffic for hours to get to my place. I keep telling him I'm worth it....he must think I am a little, or he wouldn't make the effort. He did ask me to go out on either Friday or Saturday night.  I picked Saturday.  When he came down he said that I must have picked that day because I had another date on Friday.  I didn't.  I told him we could do both nights and much to my surprise he said okay.  So, we are going out dancing and for dinner. two nights in a row....I'm still a little leery of believing he is going to do what he says, we'll see.

I have a birthday party on Sunday that he could go to, but I think that might be a little too many hours for him and for me too of togetherness.

So, now that I'm back on track I'll be posting more.

Ciao

Romance Novel Men....

Back to the purpose of this Blog.  The guys, that I've been hearing from, the last couple of days, I swear have either taken English Literature or studied to write romance novels.  The prose that comes my way is way over the top.  It is a good thing I don't believe my own Press.

Some of the examples I've received the last four days are as follows: Sexxxxxxxyyyyyyy!, from a Spanish man.  a man in his thirties that wrote a full page of text of which I'll only quote a couple lines, "I know that every day our hearts would be each others and our feelings become more passionate.  Your heart would be fixed by me, all depends if you give me the chance to show you how much I care. and so forth, another thirty something, I don't think so!!)...........a Nevada man, DAMN. You are WOW!! Hello sexy lady.  I like your profile and photos.  Would love to learn more about you.  Please get back to me.  DAMN!! You are an attractive Woman.  I LOVE the words you wrote...Be still My Heart. From someone across the country.  To tell you how much I liked your profile...you're incredibly attractive, intelligent, sexy!!! Also very cute, healthy, cool and gorgeous.  Your newest admirer, A man in his fifties:  Again, a full page of prose.  "I could hardly understand what I feel for your picture and if I can feel for your picture like this then how will you be in person.  I hope you understand that it's a pouring of the heart, which I cannot keep inside of me after seeing your picture.  You are beautiful in my eyes." etc. etc. Another guy in his fifties: "Hi good looking."  You must drive men crazy you are beautiful A man from Arizona:  "Loree, you are a Stunner!! I'd like to meet you on my next LA visit." Arizona again:  "You are stunningly beautiful.  I would relocate for a women as beautiful as you."etc. etc.

It seems to me that men that write to you and say these things right off the bat are a little disingenuous.  I would like to think that women don't write to the men on these sites saying these things. I very seldom write to anyone unless politely answering and thanking them for contacting me.  I would hate to think where the emails would go should I answer more in their vein.  

I personally don't think my pictures are that provocative.  I'm dressed, not sexily, most are head shots, and I only wrote what I wanted in a man, strong, masculine, tall, although they mostly don't pay attention to the tall part, (I think they all think they are six foot tall no matter what.) etc, and put a little of my background in the body of the profile. I'm beginning to think I must be conveying something that I don't mean to convey.  Either that or the men think that by writing these things you will be thrilled to meet them.

I would hate to think what would happen if I decided to go all out and dress like a Playboy
Bunny...yeh right, at my age!!

I heard from my Studio Man today.  He was supposed to call me last night and didn't.  Well, big family emergency with a parent that fell and broke a hip etc.  He was exhausted as he had been up all night.

Nothing else big to report.  Just trying to get through the emails which at times are funny and at time come across as needy.  Maybe we are all needy in one way or the other.  I know I sure have my moments.

Love to all.

Sad Day....

My little rescue dog, Senora, who I adopted when she was thirteen and blind, had to put down yesterday afternoon.  She had kept me up the night before hacking and coughing and extremely restless.

I just knew she was near to going.  When I adopted her, my thought was to give her a couple good years.  She lasted six and was nineteen years old. She had a sweet spirit and was loved by many people.

When she was euthanized and at the very end, her tail wagged.  The Vet said that was unusual.  I took it as a sign that she was happy to be in a better place.  I got a hug from the Vet and I kissed Senor's head goodbye and left in tears.

I told most of my friends and have heard from the ones that are animal lovers right away.  MP sent me an email saying he was so sorry too.  He lost a dog that he adored.  We've all been through it and it isn't easy.  For me, this will be my last dog.

I think that today, I will make this Blog short and about her.  I'm in the process of getting her items together so I can take them to the animal shelter.  So many animals need so much.

Instead of ashes, the Vet's office gave me a clay coaster with her paw print.  I just need to bake it to set it up.  It is a good remembrance.

I hope she is where all the other doggies are and is barking at her treats.

 That's all for today.

Well, well....

Somehow I was segued into a site that I had no idea I was listed on.  I've heard from about thirty different men from this site, one who I might consider, but probably not.  He doesn't live in California but Nevada.  Really convenient, although he says he comes to SoCal every other weekend.  It seems to be the same old thing on this site as the others.

I did hear from my studio man who is knee deep in alligators.  He is trying to get things sent out from different sites to different sets.  Interesting how many different jobs there are out there that are high powered, and the busier these men are the more of them seem to gravitate towards dating sites.  I think they just don't have the time to date the old fashioned way.

Mr. Studio Man says he will call me and has been thinking about me a lot.  He has just been so busy with work.  Does this not sound familiar.  Just what I need another MP to ignore me.  I'm beginning to think that there aren't any normal men with normal jobs out there.  But then, I probably wouldn't be happy with normal...whatever that is.

I did go out today to get my manicure/pedicure done by my long time nail person.  She has been doing my nails for ten years and is a sweetheart.  After getting polished up and a semi body massage (legs, arms and neck) I drove down to the doctor's office to pick up some paperwork for a couple referrals I needed. Seems the older one gets the more one has to keep the maintenance going.

Nothing super exciting going on today, after all it is Monday.

Have a great rest of the week.

Introspection...

When I sent my book in to be edited, the comment from the editor was, "she  thought I should have had more introspection in the book."  I thought I had put some in the book,  but maybe not enough.

Introspection for me, seems to be an invasion of your personal thoughts.  I will try to put some of the things I've been feeling since I started this senior dating saga.  I don't know if it will be cathartic or just something that I should put down.  I did put enough personal things in the book that perhaps I should have kept to myself.  It isn't an easy thing to put down some of the things that transpired with the various men.  I added things and didn't put things down I could have written.

After almost a year of seeing many men and being contacted by literally thousands on the three sites I am on, I find that I'm no closer to finding someone then I was a year ago. I truly feel like I've been spinning my wheels and getting nowhere. My originally idea was to find someone to go out with on a fairly regular basis. That hasn't happened for me.  I've met men that would be happy to be with me, but I have no interest in them. There is always something lacking, mostly in me finding a connection with them.  This whole journey has not been fun and games.  Sometimes it is pleasant and most of the time it isn't.

  I suppose I should say that the only man I have a mental and physical connection with is MP and that is going nowhere.  Besides the age difference, the distance and his complicated life, plus who he is and maybe a little of who I am, I know it is just a connection that is casual. Monogamy isn't in his vocabulary and probably not in mine either. I don't know it I want a permanent relationship, but it would be nice to have someone around that is available more then once in six weeks, and then for only hours. As I said before, 95% of me wants him around and 5% wants to kick him to the curb. I really don't know how he feels about me, except for liking me.  I know he dislikes needy.

I have a very full life compared to most people my age but for some reason find myself being Margaret O'Brien when I'm alone, contrary to popular belief  I'm  alone a lot, if you remember, Margaret could cry at the drop of a hat.  That's me a lot of the time.  I don't know if I'm feeling sorry for myself or just still trying to find my footing after my husband died last year and wishing things could have been different between us at the end of his life.  It did not end well. I still carry resentment against some of the things he did prior to his dieing. This is totally counter productive and I know it.  I just can't seem to stop the thoughts.

There are times that I wish I had never met MP as I have a tendency to compare the feelings I have for him with the other men I meet.  I know most of the feelings are lust not love, but we also have a great time together, and as I have said before, " we are matched opposites," not to mention that we look good together. There is nowhere to go with him and maybe that is how I want it to be. My friends don't think so, but then they really don't know me.

It scares me to think I might get hooked up with  another man and either have to take care of him or get disappointed again. If I stacked MP up against the men I've met he is smarter, more savvy, has a better personality then all of them put together.  The bad side  of  the coin is he is self serving, really only cares about his life, is never there when you really need him, isn't dependable and just gives you lip service to shut you up, but doesn't come through on what he promises.  I'm aware of all of the good and bad and as long as I want to put up with it, then so be it.

I don't know what I want to do for the rest of my life, however long that may be.  If I knew that I would eventually be semi happy (the only totally happy are the winky) I do know that a man shouldn't define you and only you can make yourself happy.  I just have to find what makes me the happiest at this stage of my life.  So far I haven't been able to do that.

One would think that with all the attention I receive from men and women alike, I'd be thrilled to be who I am.  I just find myself seemingly going down the rabbit hole and not knowing how to stop myself. Nothing is perfect and I know that. All the things you go through and you put yourself through in ten or twenty years when your gone doesn't mean anything to anyone, most of all  you. I do believe it is live every day for the day but sometimes when your sad and really don't know why your sad, it is hard to do.

So now that I've bored everyone to death with being semi introspective I'll sign off. Sometimes I feel alright, sometimes lonely and lost, but I will conquer these negative feelings.  I guess I just need time and a new mental attitude. I will prevail. That's what I do.