FRIDAY.....

Today I'm getting my things together for the fashion show tomorrow.  It entails shoes, jewelry and make up.  I've done this so many times through the years you would think I'd have it down pat.  Not so.  It is always a trial to try and get things together that are going to match what you are showing on the ramp. 

I was thinking about the first time I went down a ramp modeling and I can't remember if it was a hair show in my home town where I was dressed as an English lady in a long gown, the hair was the feature in this show which was dyed black, or the Ohio State hairdressers show in Columbus where I had a beautiful black gown on with my hair dyed candy apple red.  At the State show I was a model for a local hairdresser in my home town.  I think I was fifteen for this show and the home town show I was about nineteen.  Sometimes it just seems like yesterday.

Now on to men......since I rejoined a couple days ago I've heard from about ten guys, several who I had either contact with or met prior.  One who had been out of the country, I wondered what had happened to him, and another that I had coffee with several years ago. None of these guys were of any interest then or now for that matter. 

I did have coffee with a man from my town and as usual it was a boring coffee date.  He seemed to looking for a place to stay when he came back into town as his current house, that he owns with a past fiance', won't be available since she is getting married.  Egads!  The only saving grace was I did get information on some cities that support the Marines.  He was heavily envolved in the cities making proclomations of support for Marines and their families that fall on hard times.  I suppose everyone you meet you learn something from them be it big or little.

Vet man came over last night and took me to dinner.  I wasn't in a very good mood as I was still aggravated with Dez.  Dez can screw up my life without even knowing it. My fault I know. I think Vet man was more then pissed with me by the time he left.  There is basically no future with him either, so I'm wasting his time and mine. These men think you should fall all over them.  Not going to happen.

After sending Dez the email, which he deemed "hate mail" I haven't heard from him.  I don't think he will surface for a while as he knows I'm very perturbed with him to say the least.  To tell you the truth it would be better if he went into the sunset.  At least I'd have a clear mind or as clear as my mind can be.

So I'm off to finish my accessorizing and packing my tote.  Have a great weekend.

UPSET YET AGAIN.....

This morning I had an email from Dez who announced, after telling me he wanted to go to an event, that he couldn't do it.  His son and his wife in Arizona are having a baby and it may arrive that weekend.  I was more then upset.  I can't tell you how many times this man has cancelled on me for one reason or the other.  I understand this one but it doesn't make me happy.  If I hadn't asked other people to join us I wouldn't have been so mad.  I really should have known better.

I sent him an email back this morning that he answered by saying, "call me now."  I did and he said it was to early in the morning for hate mail.  I told him it wasn't hate mail but I was more then upset with him.  I also told him I needed to find someone else and his plate is way to full to have me for desert.  He told me I wasn't desert, yeah right, more like a side dish. We ended up practically hanging  up on each other and he said he would talk to me later.  I don't really care at this point if I talk to him or not.  I'm to old to be upset by a man that has his priorities set on everything else but me.

My saving grace, Vet man wants to take me out to dinner tonight and I'm going to go. He knows I'm upset by Dez and is willing to make me feel better.

I was so ticked off at Dez  that I decided to go back on line.  I had coffee this morning at Starbucks with a man that of course wasn't my idea of who I wanted to be with but he was okay and had some connections in the Marine world that we can use for the Marine Corp Ball.  I hate starting this dance again.  However, I figure I met Dez, or I should say he met me, online and he can't be the only man out there that I might have an interest in.  I need to understand that there isn't any future and it is a dead end with  Dez, not that I'm sure I want a future with anyone, and he has made it more then abundantly clear that we are casual.  It is my bad being an idiot where he is concerned.  I've cried enough tears through the years and I don't need to shed more. 

When I started this dating thing it was to find someone to go out with and be around once in a while.  This thing with Dez has been more painful then I expected it to be and I need to give myself a reality check. Your basically there for yourself and better not depend on anyone else to be there for you especially someone who is going fifteen directions at once.

So, we'll see what happens, who knows maybe there will be another Dez out there, only better.

.THREE DAYS OF THE WEEK...

I heard from Dez last night who was still in Texas.  He is flying back to L.A. today and has a meeting two hours after he lands.  Talk about putting a lot on your plate.  I don't know if I'll see him or not this week due to his work schedule.  Of course next weekend is Easter and he will be going up North to see his daughter and family.  My elusive man.  At least he keeps in touch which I guess is the best I can expect from someone that has so much going on in his life.

I hadn't heard from Vet man for four days, which is unusual.  I finally texted him to find out if he was okay and he texted back saying he thought Dez was in town.  I remember telling him I was busy on Monday and Tuesday, but didn't tell him doing what.  He just assumed.

Monday I went to a local store to try on clothes to model in a fashion show that is transpiring this Saturday.  After spending almost two hours trying things on, none of which I liked, the head of the show decided that the store didn't have good enough clothes for me to wear.  She decided that a boutique store in Costa Mesa would be much better.  I actually was glad she decided that because the clothes weren't great at the first place,  although, as a hanger you wear what you have to do.

Today, Tuesday, I went to the boutique in Costa Mesa and I have to say it is the first time everything I tried on I loved.  The clothes were very high end and fashionable with a lot of  pizazz and very glamorous.  Right up my alley.  The theme is "The Phantom of the Opera" and just about everything is black, white and red with a little grey thrown in.  The end evening gown is very glitzy.  I've always been about the bling and have never done casual well.  Living in California one would think I would have learned to be slacks and tee shirts but that isn't my style.

I had texted Vet man that I was going to try on clothes for the show and he came back with "thongs?"
I swear, five or ninety five guess what men think about. I should have just answered no underwear at all and seen where that went.  Better heads prevailed, no pun intended. 

After I got home my favorite tech guy came to the house with his manager and fixed my router that went out in the storm on Sunday.  He is a miracle worker and I just love him.  He has been able to get things straightened around and I didn't have to buy a new router.

I decided to go back online to shake the trees a little.  I was going to wait, but have decided I've been sitting looking at the walls a little to much of late.  I immediately had several men contact me and tomorrow morning I'm meeting one at the nearby Starbucks for coffee.  I'm getting tired of being a blip on Dez's screen and have decided I'm kidding myself if I think there is any future there for either of us.  I told Dez a long time ago that this was a dead end, even though he says cul de sac, which I think is even worse.  He is a player and sport dater and I know that won't change.   I'll see where this new sojourn into the iffy world of dating takes me this time. If I found Dez I might be able to find someone else I really like.

I probably should have waited, but I think this gives me a chance to at least be amused via computer.  It is always nice to get fluffed up by the boys.  I have become so picky that it is hard to answer the ones that you know you don't have an interest in.  I do try to be polite.  However, one this morning was only twenty four but sent a lovely compliment.  I did thank him.

That's it for the first three days of this week.

MORE COMPUTER PROBLEMS....

I officially hate technology.  Something happened yesterday while I was working on the computer.  The computer is a lap top and I brought it over to my chair and plugged in the power because it was low per the battery information.  Everything was working just fine and all of a sudden it said that there was a diagnostic problem.  The wifi router went off and from there it went from bad to worse. 

I called all the appropriate people but nothing worked.  Cox said it was a Linksys problem. Linksys couldn't fix it and said I needed someone to come out.  I waited until this morning and then called my neighbor who tried to help with different suggestions.  She was having problems too. Im trying to avoid having to pay someone to come out to fix it but that probably is just a dream.

I think the storm we had was a big problem.  Not only did the computer fall apart, but the t.v. went off several times and the lights flickered.  Oh joy......more money out the door.

Today I had a short meeting then a dental appointment.  Before I went to the dentist I went to Target to buy cat food, litter and treats for the "kids"  Mikee and Camille live for their treats everyday.  After the dentist, it was just for getting a cap on a back tooth installed, the dental office gal took my picture to hang on their wall with their other victims. They are going to start a picture gallery of their work which I guess is a good thing.

On the way home I stopped at Trader Joe's then came home and unloaded everything from Target and Trader's,  I changed clothes and went to the nail salon, the CVS and then another CVS to pick up my pills.  Whew!  It was a long day for sure.

The boys are out of town.  Dez is in Texas, Vet man is in another city in California for Vet work and my grey haired man started a new job today. 

I basically stayed home for four days until today.  Off to get clothes tomorrow to model for a fashion show this Saturday and then Wednesday is lunch with a dear friend of mine.  I don't know when Dez is surfacing.  He didn't remember if he was coming back Tuesday or Wednesday, which doesn't surprise me as his plans change from day to day if not hour to hour.  the last I talked to him we made a date for a dance in April, but he said he would see me this week.  I won't hold my breath.

Off to find a hatchet for this damn computer....maybe that will fix it.  Ha!

WAITING......

It seems to me since I've met Dez I spend a lot of time waiting until he surfaces from his various sojourns.  I will say I would rather sit at home looking at the walls then be with someone I have no connection to or don't really want to be with.  The problem is it can be very lonely sitting at home. 

I either am so busy I've no time to think, which is a good thing, or bored out of my mind, which isn't a good thing.  I do have a lot to do at home, but I have to be in the mood to do the projects that I have in mind.  Cleaning out file cabinets,closets, throwing away shoes, etc is something one has to feel like doing.

As far as my other semi connections.  I have seen Vet man at a meeting this week and that was it.  He has texted me almost every day.  Nothing exciting but at least contact, which Dez never does. Then there was my tall grey haired man, my age who calls me quite often.  He finally has found employment after a long time and is going to at least be more solvent then he has  been in the last several years.  He says now he can take me out. 

I really have to think about the above.  Again I like the man but there really isn't anything there, at least for me.  I will say he can dance and is fun, but not Dez.   Don't ask me what is wrong with me, I couldn't tell you.  I have never, my whole life liked someone like I do Dez.  The only man other then Dez that I was crazy about was when I was in my  twenties.  That guy followed me to California from Ohio.  The reason we didn't work was my fault.  I found the excitement of California, astronauts, football players and Hollywood that was way to  way to enticing. Guess that doesn't say much about my thirty seven year plus marriage to the man that said he loved me.  That is a long story that the only will thing I will say is actions speak louder then words and his definition of love wasn't mine.

My one friend says that there is nothing worse then a bitter women and I do think she is correct.  I try not to thing about the past, although it does form who we are in the future.  So, although there is really nothing going on in my life I will maintain at this point.  Dez is resurfacing next week so in between lunches, dinners, fashion show clothing selections for the modeling stint this coming Saturday I will try to keep busy and keep my mind quite.  Easier said then done.

A BREAK..........

I've decided to take a little break from blogging,  since there really isn't anything of interest going on right now I don't want to fill up the space with meaningless words. 

I will say I am having dinner at Vet man's house this evening and then we are going for a night cap at my favorite hideout.  Nothing exciting but a nice evening.

So until something of interest transpires I will be off this site for a while and will probably resume sometime in April depending on life's twists and turns.

ANOTHER SATURDAY.....

This was the 25th Anniversary of the Kona Girls going to the "Big Island."  Although Kona is about 30 miles away from where we actually stay, we have always had that name.  Kona itself has gotten rather tacky through the years.  The Kahala Coast is where all the foo-foo resorts are located and that is where our dear friend has been hosting the eight of us for the last twenty five years.

I didn't go this year for several reasons.  My knee, finances and several other things that would have been disrupted where contributing factors.  I actually didn't miss it.  Must be getting old.

Speaking about getting old one of the women made a lovely memory book of the photos of all of us through the years plus a CD. Her husband made a special trip to my house to deliver the items.  Under the heading of CRS I could have sworn that I called and talked to her and thanked her for doing the book and CD.

I called her today and she said I hadn't thanked her for the above things.  Since I couldn't prove it one way or the other I apologized and told her what a terrific job she had done.  It's not like me to forget things like a thank you, although in the last four or five years I'm not as together as I was. I sent a belated mea culpa thank you note today.

I heard from my grand daughter who is coming home from Colorado for her birthday.  She wants to get together for lunch when she is back.  I love seeing her and we always have a good chat when she is in town.

I heard from Vet man via text last night checking to see how I was doing.  It has been a tough week for me and although I'm very lucky to have what I have and to be living where I do, there are things that continue to be upsetting for me.  I need to get over it I know and I will.  It is just that you can't be a Pollyanna all the time and sometimes reality sets in and it isn't so great.  I was hoping things would even out by May but now it is July....

Tomorrow is another day.