HEALING

What an experience yet once again.  I swear if I could get my hands around the neck of the first doctor I'd do him in.  This time around the operation went swimmingly.  I had the procedure at 3:30 on a Monday and on Wednesday, two days later I was released to return home.  Everyone at the hospital was amazed at how well I was doing.  The meds help that is for sure.

The operation was better then the first time, but no cake walk.  Although I have lots of people willing to help there is only so much anyone can do and the rest is up to you.  I really am blessed to have so many people around that want to help out, from my neighbor and her assistant, that helps her at her company, to my long time friends who have been there, changing bed linens, washing clothes, shopping for groceries etc, to the many, many phone calls I've had from friends and relatives alike.  Even the "boys" at the Veterans called to check up on me. 

Now the healing and re-hab begin.  The worse part of the whole thing right now is the burning of the tissue around the joint replacement.  My leg is a wonderful color of blue, purple, yellow and shades there of.  This time, not quite two weeks later I can manage with very little help from my cane.  Last time it was two months on a walker with ten days in a rest home.  Everyone I have talked to praises the doctor that did the operation.  The physical therapist said I was amazing and so far above his other patients he is only coming back one more time.  He has only been here once. The nurse is done next week too and the machine is out of here shortly.  I don't have to use it anymore.  So, my question is if I'm doing so great, why am I hurting?  I know, a healing process that takes time and patience. Time I have, patience is another story.

I will say today I under took cleaning the front of the house.  We had huge wind storms that dumped dirt all over the place and I can't stand a house that looks like the Gobi desert.  So a job that usually takes me forty five minutes took me four and a half hours....rested in between.

So now, it is time to put my legs up and forget things.  I am back among the living, kinda!

GONE FOR A WHILE...

Today is the last day I will be entering anything on my Blog for a while.  I go into the hospital tomorrow for my knee surgery and don't know when I will be able to get back tot the computer to add anything.

I'll keep everyone in my thoughts.

Love and hugs....

CLOSER TO OPERATION DAY....

Two more days and then the dreaded operation on my knee, for the third time.  I'm hoping this will be it and I may have to do someone in if it doesn't work.  I'm going in with a positive attitude that this will be better then the last two times.  Everyone has said the doctor is the best in the hospital so I'm going with that.  My friend gave me a pre-surgery CD that has wonderful calming advice on it.  The studies at UC Davis proved that people that listen to this CD do better then people that don't, even if they only listen to it once. 

Veteran man came at 8:45am yesterday morning and took me to breakfast.  We went shopping after that for items for his house that he is redoing for him.  It was his parents home and he is now making it his.  He plans on living there for two more years and then moving back to Florida.

We looked at gas fireplace logs, furniture and found a very cute porcelain cane holder for his entry.  He decided to purchase a bench and two chairs.  Then off to the framers to get his prints matted and framed.  It only took us until noon and that was including going to his house to see what he had done with his furniture placement in the living room.  All in all it was a successful morning and he got a lot accomplished.  He brought me back to my house and I had the rest of the day to putz around and rest.

I sent Dez the wording on a couple tee shirts I found in a catalog. I couldn't resist.  One said, "the reason that Santa was Jolly was that he knew where all the bad girls live."  the other for me said, "be naughty, save Santa a trip."  It all sounds good to me.  Ha!

Dez answered me and wanted to know if I had been naughty or nice and I said it was always nice to be naughty.  Ah, Santa and his elfette.   He is such a clever word master.  I won't go into what else was said, but he does make me laugh.

I also heard, on Facebook, from the thirty four year old man that writes lyrics for a living and has his own company.  I was conversing with him a lot a long time ago, but ended up blocking him from yahoo messenger when I thought he was getting to involved and wanted to see me.  He is nice looking, six four, two hundred and seventy five pounds of muscle.  Way, way to young but sure good looking. He said on Facebook that he really wanted to talk to me again.  I don't think so, that is just what I need in the mix, a child.

Also on Facebook a man popped up that had contacted me a long time ago.  He wants to meet and says he is very respectful and loves to laugh.  At least he is older, but again, not my type......I need to focus on me right now and I know that.  It is interesting how these guys come back though and at least gives me hope that should Dez leave for Marrakesh for years I will have choices.

My nephew, who passed away in a car accident over four years ago, best friend, who lives in Tahoe sent me a comment on Facebook too.  He and my nephew would come out almost every summer to stay with me when they were little boys.  We have always kept in touch and I consider him my third nephew.  He is such a great guy.  He sent me lots of love and I'm so impressed with him.  He is now a fitness instructor and looks terrific.  I wish him a wonderful life, he deserves it.

So, today is a packing day for the hospital and re-hab center in case I go there.  My doctor seems to think I will be coming home after the operation.  We'll see.

Happy Saturday!

THANKSGIVING.....

I woke up this morning thinking that no matter what the "blips" are on the road I am very blessed to have what I have.  Good friends, relatives, a roof over my head and food on the table.  All the little annoyances pale compared to most of the rest of the world's problems.  Not enough to eat, war and the struggles of everyday life just to stay alive.  I have to try and remember all of this when I think things are getting bad.

Desi sent me a fairly long text, at least for him, telling me what was going on in Morocco.  He said he felt like a Legionnaire.  He had been through his first Sirroco, said the beaches were beautiful, the food good and as they were driving around in their Land Cruisers, people almost genuflected and the sheep herders parted ways for passage for them.  He said it was due to the logo on the Cruisers being from the King....he still hasn't made a decision regarding the job but I really think he is leaning towards doing it,  I sent him an email today saying "Happy Thanksgiving, enjoy the cous cous, lamb, veggies and fruits" and got one in return from him saying Happy Thanksgiving to you too Lucie."

Veteran man texted me last night and wanted to take me to dinner.  I agreed and we went to the Elephant Bar for dinner around seven thirty.  He was cooking for the Homless Vets today and then going to dinner at a friends house.

When he first came over, before we left for dinner, we sat and had a drink and I told him that I didn't want him to feel like I was using him or leading him on.  He said what he was doing was his choice and he was totally enthralled, his words, that I would even consider seeing him.  Just call me Miss Femme Fatale.  I wish men wouldn't get so enamoured, at least the ones that don't much matter.  The ones  you want to be head over heels, aren't.  Or if they are, they are playing it close to the vest. I always want what I want when I want it and I usually get it eventually.  Power of positive thinking. He also brought me a huge cinnamon roll for Thanksgiving morning. If I keep seeing him I'm going to gain all the weight back I lost.  Must watch that.

Veteran man and I had a nice dinner and he brought me home and left right away.  I'm always grateful there is no grouping and me fending off.  Again I wish I could love Vanilla and not Rocky Road. I think there is something sorely lacking in my make up to not feel any chemistry with Vanilla and to absolutely love Rocky Road. Must be the bad boy syndrome even at my age.  Think one would learn.

My brother says I should be content to sit in front of the fire at my age and relax.  He sure doesn't know me.  I refuse to get old, at least mentally and physically for as long as I can.  Doesn't he know that seventy is the new fifty....at least in my head.  Although I've been hearing how young I look for so long that I'm beginning to believe my own press.  The fact that men in their thirties, forties and fifties are interested at least fluffs me up even if I wouldn't see any of them.

There have been more then several blips with the upcoming operation and will go into that later.

I was invited to have Thanksgiving with long time friends today and am looking forward to it.

Love and hugs and Happy Thanksgiving

MONDAY.........

The weather has been cool and raining, enough so that I had the fireplace on most of the day, Sunday.  I still was pretty tired from Saturday's events, so did a few things around the house and then did nothing but watch t.v. and read.

Veteran man called and wanted to come over.   I wanted to tell him no, but since he was so helpful in getting everything to the place it needed to be I didn't think I should.  He did come over after dinner, he is always early, and we again sat and talked. He is a very patient and respectful man.

I had several emails from Desi during the day which was fine until the last email which he sent in Arabic.  That just about put me over the edge.  I fired an email back telling him that the least he could do is use the English alphabet.  He immediately replied that he was just trying out the Google site and I should relax as it was nothing important. I had tried to get a translation but to no avail. When he knows I'm upset he tells me to relax....silly boy, not in my vocabulary.

This morning I decided to try another site, Bing, and lo and behold, after copy and pasting the words they came up in English.  They wording was a little garbled but at least I got the gist of the whole message.  He was right, it really didn't say anything.  I think if I had been less tired and in a better mood I would have let the whole thing go, but I was totally snappy when I emailed him about the Arabic message.

I had an email this morning, early, from Veteran man begging me to go to breakfast with him Friday and to his house to see the new paint that the workmen just finished and then to go shopping for a fireplace log and mirror for the entry.  He had asked me the night before when he was here and I said okay, but for some reason he wanted to affirm it again.

Yesterday I also had a nice conversation with my brother.  He has always been a constant in my life.

So, things are okay, just need to get through this week to get to the hospital next week.

ONE THING OVER AND ANOTHER TO BEGIN...

The Fashion show is over and was a huge success. There were three hundred people in attendance.  Veteran man same to my house at 7:15 am and loaded everything in his car for me and took it to the show and unloaded it.  What a nice man he is and he came into my life at a time I need someone to be there for me.  He is so willing to be helpful in anyway he can.

After working to get all the decorations on the stage and tables it was time to change clothes to have lunch.  Then time to dress in the outfits I was modeling on the ramp  It is always a big deal and there were fifteen models, including men.  The guys had a great time modeling what not to wear.  Mostly underwear with wigs, bras, etc.  They really were the hit of the show.  So, from 7:45am until 4:00pm I was running around doing things.  Needless to say I went to sleep early and woke up late.  I'm hoping this will be my last go round doing this function.  Let someone else take over for a change.

So now, one thing down and my pre-op things to go before my operation next Monday the twenty eighth. I will be so glad when this episode is over....it has to work this time or else.

I had an email from Desi this morning.  He was in Nice.  He said he hadn't made any decisions yet and was flying to Morocco on Tuesday.  I thought it was going to be in Spain for one night, but that obviously changed.  I emailed him back and told him that I had resigned myself to what will be will be and that I had gotten along without him prior to meeting him and I'd get along without him should he decide to take the job for three years.  He is the only person I know that can tell you something without imparting anything.  Interesting,

So,today, Sunday is a relax day until this evening when my neighbor takes me out for a belated dinner to Fleming's in Newport Beach.  It is a restaurant on par with Ruth's Chris or Morton's.  Then next week it is another busy time.

Veteran man has texted me last night and first thing this morning.  He is really trying to make me like him.  I should say I like him but not romantically. I  have to much on my plate right now and it is time to concentrate on me and let everything else hang in the wind for now

Patience!

ONWARDS AND UPWARDS, KIND OF.....

Wednesday was a huge day that resolved some things that have been pending.  It was also a very confusing day with not much help from the people that were suppose to know what to do.  However, I got through it and now I'm muddling through the aftermath.  This too shall pass in time.

I had a lot of support from my girlfriend Cathy and Desi ((at least verbally) my DA guy and Veteran Man.  I do have a good support group. Desi left for Europe a day early to go to Texas to have dinner with his oldest son and grand kids and then was taking a late flight out for London which would put him in Great Britain on Thursday morning, today. He'll be in the air coming back when I have my operation.  He said he wanted phone numbers of people to call to see how I was doing and he would come to see me.  Since I'm not to convinced he'll follow through, I'm not holding my breath.  Nothing with him surprises me.

Veteran man came over last night and we had a nice talk.  I told him I need to get myself in order prior to having anything to do with any kind of a relationship.  He is there to help me and that is great.  He is coming over to load up center pieces and take them to the Fashion Show tomorrow. with this knee surgery looming over my head  can't really think about anything else. 

There have been so many phone calls trying to get insurance companies in order and then I received a call today that said my primary care physician won't be on my program anymore.  Always something to upset you, so I either change doctors, which I'm loath to do, or get another insurance company.

So, I'm off to pack accessories and shoes for the three outfits I'm modeling.  I'm also trying to get everything ready to be loaded in the trunk of the car to take to the show.  There are so many details with everything you do I'll almost be glad to be laid up for a month or more to chill out.

Off to pack and get things done.

MORE CHANGES....

To begin where I left off.  Veteran man flew in on Sunday from the East Coast and immediately called me from the airport and said he would be at my house in an hour.  He wanted to go home to shower and shave before he saw me.  He is the most unusal man.  Very committed to keeping in touch but very respectful when he sees me.  He also is very supportive.  He has me a little confused as I'm not use to men that act like that.  He says he is very patient.  I guess he is, as he han't made any moves on me, thank God.

Desi sent an email saying he was busy, busy and how was I doing.  He is leaving for Europe on Thursday and I know he has tons of lose ends to tie up.  I'll see him in December if I make it off the operating table.  I'm sure I will.  I'm too fiesty to go anywhere else but back to my room after the procedure. I've promised everyone that I wouldn't pull an Andy Rooney.

I spent the weekend at home, although I did go out and do a bunch of errands and Monday was another run around day for me.  I need to get everything organized prior to leaving for a month of operation and re-hab.  Might not be that long, but just in case.

I had a call late in the day from Veteran man who asked me to go to his Yacht Club with him for a snack and Monday night football.  Why not?  He came  the house to pick me up and off we went.  The game was very one sided so we left early.  Actully returned home around eight.  He stayed for a couple minutes and left.  It is nice to go out and not have to worry about fending someone off for a change.   Although lately, I have limited my guys to Desi and Veteran man.  The slew of men that I saw the last year I've ignored and decided to forget.  No one memorable. My new motto is ignore, ignore.

The Fashion show is coming up and I got drug into modeling which I didn't want to do.  Someone bowed out and I was it.  I'm none to happy about it, but in a pinch I'll help out.  It is only three outfits so not a full day of stripping and dressing. Although  Co-Chair I have to be there at eight and it ends at four. A tiring day.

Tonight is a meeting and my DA friend wants to ask me a favor. He called me last week but wouldn't say what he wanted.  Like I don't have enough on my plate. Not sure what I can do for him, but I'll see what he wants tonight. I also heard from my good neighbor from the old neighborhood and a few other people.  Life is rolling along and it really is day by day.

Love to all.

BIRTHDAY WEEK ALMOST OVER....

My birthday goes on at least for a week.  I'm blessed to have a lot of friends that want to contact and fete me to dinners, lunches and give me gifts. 

Thursday nights dinner was fun with the girls and it turned into a four and a half hour affair.  People, especially men, wonder what we girls talk about for that long.  There is never a lull in the conversation and there is always a lot of laughter.

The next day my two good girlfriends took me to the Balboa Bay Club for lunch.  One of them gave me the most ginormous sun hat with a beach cover up to match.  The other a Visa gift certificate to spend as I like.  With these plus the ones I received from the girls the night before I made quite a haul. The girls are always so generous with gifts, dinners and lunches. I'm lucky to have them all in my life for so many years.

I'm edging closer to my knee surgery.  I'm hoping the third time is a charm.  Same knee, same pain, big pain!  I'm getting anxious about it and just want it over, this will be through the Christmas holidays and I will be incapacitated during those dates for at least six weeks.  Christmas was never my favorite holiday,  I always preferred Easter....maybe it was the new outfit you got in the Spring.  I always found Christmas to be sad time with people trying to hard to have fun.  New Year's Eve is right along Christmas for a crummy holiday.


There are other things going on in my life that I won't go into but suffice it to say when all is over I can breath again.  It is always the unknown that keeps you awake at night.  One can conjure up all kind of scenarios that are usually worse then the actuality, although this one is pretty bad and self induced.  One would think at my age I'd be smarter, but no!

Life is a learning lesson and if one doesn't learn from your experiences you are a lost cause, no matter how old you are.  I"m hoping I've learn a life lesson this time.  I seem to have skated for years without consequences and now it is time to pay the piper, one way or the other. As Oprah says, "we all have the power to change ourselves."  I need to remember that.

Veteran man made a fast phone call to me yesterday.  He is still on the East coast but said he wanted to touch base.  He is flying home to night and said he would call me when he got back into Orange County tonight. He really has been keeping in touch a lot.  Maybe I'll get smart and gravitate towards him and finally say goodbye to Desi, who is a lost cause when it comes to longevity in a relationship.  Unfortunately it is all about the chemistry and Desi and I do have that, at least for the time being. Guess I'll have to start getting over that one. I know things with Desi will never be normal, whatever that is, he has way too much on his plate.

The one thing that is a plus about being by yourself is that you don't have to answer to anyone or take care of anyone else.  After years of doing just that I should be happy that I don't have to anymore. It is always a process to adjust to life's changes.

Tomorrow my neighbor is taking me out for an early dinner for my birthday.  That should be the end of the celebrating for another year.

Off to do some work around the house.

THURSDAY...

I did go out to a Veterans program on Tuesday night.  It was so well done by the people that put it on.  It honered all the MIA's and POW's plus the three homes in the  Orange County area that are half way house for the homeless veterans, men and women, that are on Orange Counties streets. I was privileged  to sit with ten of these men who have served their country in Viet Nam and Desert Storm. 

Tuesday, my birthday, brought in so many phone calls from everywhere  It was about six thirty in the evening when I left for the event for the vetereans and Desi still hadn't called to wish me happy birthday.  I was more then a little upset by that.  However, on the way, I had a phone call in the car with Desi singing happy birthday and saying he hoped I had had a good day.  He was busy packing things up to go back up North and when he called he was on the road near his destination.  He knew he should have called me sooner and said to me, "I bet you thought I forgot." My answer to that was "no, I thought you were just punishing me."  He can be a brat sometimes, although a handsome one. I really thought since he had come down to take me out he considered that my birthday.   When I returned home that night there was a message on my machine with him singing happy birthday to Lucie and tell Loree to get it to her.  Ah, the Desi - Lucie thing, which will never go away. At least he tracked me down. I find that I totally over think things and cause myself more anquish then necessary.  Reality is not as bad as what your mind can conjure up.


Mr. Veteran man left for the East coast yesterday.  He sent me numerous texts again plus called several times while he was at different airports.  Then after he arrived back East he called me from the hotel.  He really is being attentive.  Why can't I like him more? He is in the process of redoing his home and has asked me to help him find some art work on the internet that he wants.  I told him I would since googling things is no big deal.  Ultimately it is his decision to get what he likes.  He said he thought I had good taste and he loved my home, hence the request. I really am going to try to be receptive to this man. 

Then a surprise call from the man that contacted me from Las Vegas who had been in Europe, Turkey etc.  He wants to fly down to Orange County to meet me.  I told him my time was pretty taken up until after January.  He said he would continue to call me and perhaps we could get to know each other via phone conversations.  At this point in time I wish everyone would go away.  I need to regroup and as long a you are being bombarded you can't focus on youself.

My DA friend is another one.  I don't know what it is about me but I seem to bring out the animal instinct in men.  My cousin told me about a book to read, "The Art of Seduction" that I downloaded on my Kindle.  I was telling the DA about it and he looked at me and said, "why are you reading it, you wrote it."  Oy!  I think I need to start dressing and looking like a little old lady, and look maybe like I look when I get up in the morning.  That should be the way I look all day.  OMG!

Tonight my girlfriends are taking me to dinner.  My one friend is picking me up and then tomorrow is another lunch. 

I'm trying to get paperwork done which is never ending.  Off to the desk to final up things before I need to get myself together for tonight.

BIRTHDAY TODAY.....

I really am blessed to have so many people in my life.  I have had numerous contacts call, email, send cards and generally be there for me.  From New York, Colorado, Ohio, Minnesota, Nevada and near by,  I have heard from a lot of people.  Facebook brought out even more.  I should realize that I'm not alone.  My brother calls all the time and I'm lucky to have such a good relationship with him..  I know so many families that are fractured for one reason or the other.  Timm and I, through the years, have bonded and can talk about anything without being judgemental. I'm lucky to have him in my life.

I plan on staying home most of the day.  I don't think, at least at this point in the day that I will go out.  The weather is cold and my mood is one to make me want to hunker down and do nothing. Although that isn't the case around the house.  There is always something to do.  I blame my Mother, who was a neat freak, for giving me such an over the top work ethic.  God forbid things are a mess. especially in this small house.

I need to start thinking about getting things together for the hospital and for the r e -hab center.  I have to take clothes etc.  Nothing else new at this point.

Thanks to everyone who has been there for me.

MONDAY AGAIN...

I'm sure everyone has noticed that as one gets older the years seem to fly by.  It is that time, space continuum kicking in.  The shorter time you have left to live the faster the time goes to the end.  Pleasant thought.

I did go to the Mall this morning and met with the women who are going to model in the fashion show.  Being the co-chair, I don't have to model this year..  It is a lot of work and not very much fun, contrary to popular belief.

After the meeting with the women I called Veteran man and drove to his house which was close to the Mall.  His cleaning lady was there and he took me on a tour of the house and showed me what he was doing and what had been done.  He refinished all the floors and the wood color is beautiful.  The original floors are red oak and came out a stunning color. I met his dog, a  yellow lab, who was thrilled to have company.  Only labs.

After the tour of the house he drove me over to a small restaurant where we had a salad for lunch.  He had several appointments that afternoon and I needed to get home so we said our goodbyes  when I returned home I had a lot of birthday cards in the mail from so many good friends.  It is wonderful to be remembered and to know that people care.

I also had a several phone calls from people in other States wishing a happy birthday tomorrow.  One of the biggest surprise was a lovely card from my step-grand daughter that I adore.  She is so sweet.  She sent a gift card to Barnes and Noble for me.  My brother and sister in law sent two very generous gifts and my Aunt and cousin in Ohio also sent me a gift certificate to one of my favorite stores. 

I'm so blessed and I think I need to remember that before I go into one of my declines.  Since Sunday was such a horrible day, emotionally for me, I decided to shake myself out of the doldrums and get my act together.  I figure in twenty years when I'm dead and gone, no one will care what I went through or what happened in my life or any one's elses for that matter.

To get off that subject.  I thought I was off all the dating sites/  Low and behold I heard from a man that lives in Los Angeles, to young, but 6'6" tall. He wanted to get to know me. I am always amazed that a young man, this one age forty nine, would want to get to know someone my age.  I know age is only a number and Desi says I don't look or act it, but maybe that is because I'm retarded.  Ha.!  So no, I'm not going to pursue that one for sure.

So that was today.  Things are what they are an it is day by day.

FINALLY GOT IT.....

Cold, raining and miserable on this Sunday.  I actually  have put the fireplace on for warmth not ambiance.  Being in a puddle seems to be the mode of the day.

Last night Desi and I went out for my birthday dinner, which is coming up on November 8. We ended up going to The Five Crowns, which was a big disappointment.  This place was one of my favorite restaurants until last night.  The paper had said that they remodeled and changed the menu.  The remodel, we decided only looked like they had dusted.  What was an obvious change wasn't a big deal.  The service was terrible and the food greasy.  Very disappointing.  However, it was my choice, so I lived with it. Desi was thrilled I couldn't blame him for the choice.

After dinner we drove to Dana Point to Brio to dance to the live band they have on the weekends. We, again, had a good time. Again too, we were noticed by several couples that commented on how good we looked together.  I don't know why people feel the need to tell us that, but it is nice to hear. We do make a statement, probably because we are both tall.

I really wasn't myself.  There have been so many things that have happened and are in the pipeline I am having a hard time being optimistic.  Of course Desi pointed that out and said everything will be fine.  Mr." glass half full". I am a "glass half empty" person and Desi said I "lost the glass." He maybe right.  Might be time for a new glass.

 We have a very strange relationship, if you can call it that  When we first met we said things would only be casual.   Since his work schedule and his being out of town most of the time deems it the only way it can be.  I just need to enjoy the time we have together and stop being a "Gloomy Gussie.  Being free to do what I want when I want is a big plus.  Not having to take care of a man is an even bigger plus. Being able to go out with whom I choose is even better. We basically are at different spots in our lives and I need to remember that. I just need to get my life together and get back on track and I WILL!

So, with that being said, I have decided to  adhere to the casual edict and go on with my life.  When he is around he is around and when not, I"m free to do what I want.  As he said, "you don't know, you may find someone that makes you "star struck." and say goodbye to me.  Who knows he may very well be right  .We decided we would keep seeing each other for fun until the fun goes away. He does drive , sometimes for four to five hours to take me out, so I should realize he really does want to see me and he says he likes me.

So, Veteran man texted me yesterday morning more then once, and then did the same today.  Desi left about an hour before and I wasn't in any mood to talk to Veteran man about anything.  I posed a couple questions to Desi that threw him....good.  One was "what about retirement?"  The second one was, "where do you see yourself ten years from now.  Since Desi only lives the day for the day any thought of future plans threw him.  Interesting?   His answer to the second question was, on a hot beach with a cold beer." and probably living in Europe.  Since he doesn't drink beer I find it an interesting semi plan.

Veteran man wanted to know today if I was okay and I answered "so, so."  Between Desi being elusive and basically a pain in the butt,  the up coming operation on my knee, and a situation coming up I need to handle, plus the fashion show, I'm in a foul mood and not fit company to talk to anyone.

Tomorrow I have an early appointment to help with the fashion show fittings at Cold Water Creek  at the Mall. Then  Veteran man has invited me to stop by to see his house that he just finished remodeling and then go to lunch. There is another text asking me if I'm better.  Will answer it and sign off.

Hope every one's weekend was great.

TUES., WED

Last night I went to a meeting and sat with my friend that is a retired policeman who now works for the DA's office in Santa Ana.  We talked for several hours and had dinner prior to him leaving and me going into the meeting.  I forgot I was suppose to pack boxes for the Veterans, but luckily there were other people there to do that and I really wasn't missed.

Today, I did go to lunch with Veteran man.  He came early and said that he was getting his carpets cleaned and it would be a short lunch.  That was fine with me.  He managed to send me five emails and a couple texts prior to coming to get me.  He really is a nice man and also very respectful  Not your usual man, which makes it interesting.

I'm home tonight and actually there really isn't much happening.  Still working on Fashion Show stuff and will be glad when it is over.  To much pressure and to much to do.

Hugs

HAPPY HALLOWEEN......

Errand day.  Dropping subscribtions off at CVS, beauty supply house for a few things, Target for cat food and litter, postal annex for boxes and labels,  returning something,  and the cleaners where I found out they ruined the trim on my St. John knit.  They did say they were in contact with a supplier that was going to see if he could send new trim.  Good luck on that one since the knit is old and the trim probably isn't made anymore.  I swear no one does anything right.  Nothing like having a very  expensive, $1200.00 three piece knit ruined.

I sent an email to Desi saying Happy Halloween....I got one back saying Happy Halloweenie....only Desi.  He's to cute.

Veteran man has been sending me a lot of texts and calling.  It is first thing in the morning and last thing at night.  Interesting since I've only had lunch twice with him.  He did come over one afternoon and just stayed for a little while to chat.  He has asked me out for Wednesday lunch.  His birthday is in November too.  I don't know about two Scorpios, probably not a good combination. He wanted to come over again today but I told him I was busy, which I am.  He still works part time and was getting off early.  If I was smart, which I'm not, I'd make a concerted effort to like this man.  He says he would love to pamper me.  That sure would be a first.

Why is it that the one guy you want to contact you all the time doesn't and the one that you really don't care about does?  Life is full of weird.

I finished some holiday gift wrapping and puting in boxes to send to Colorado for the kids.  I need to get as much done as possible due to the up coming incapacitation.  I am not as organized as I use to be and that can be a hinderance when youare trying to get tings done.

I have so much paperwork to do for the hospital and everytime I think I'm done more shows up in the mail
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I better get ready for tonights little goblins.  I always get about 70 kids at the door.  I'm sure they bus them in from other neighborhoods as we certainly don't have that many kids in this place.

Happy Halloween all!

SLOW............

Not a whole lot going on.  I did have a few things that needed to be finished around the house and there is a big shoe looming over my head that needs to be addressed.  As everyone tells me, day by day.  My one friend has started calling me  "Mary Mayhem".....an apt nomenclature.

Veteran man has been calling me and texting me at least five times a day.  From Desi only touching base once in a while to a man that can't seem to get enough contact with me, it has struck me as a strange comparison between the two. Again, I wish I could feel more of an attraction to Veteran man but he really isn't my type.  The thing I do like about him is he is another take charge kind of guy and is willing to help me anyway he can. Whereas Desi is never around.  He isn't as tall as Desi and he is balding, but there is something there that appeals a little to me.

I'm addressing Christmas cards, yes,I know, way early, but I'm in the hospital for knee surgery, yet again, and won't be around to do any Christmas things in December.  It is hospital and re-hab, oh joy!
Nothing else going  on, it has been pretty quiet.

Good weekend all.

YACHT CLUB....

I just returned from a lovely lunch at a Newport Beach Yacht Club with Veteran man.  He is good company and seems to like me.  We sat outside and the weather was glorious.  Sunny with a light breeze and not a soul out on the water.  It is interesting to see all the yachts just sit week after week.  I wonder if any of them ever go out on the water.  Probably not. I always think they are such a great waste of money.

Veteran man wants to take me out to lunch again next Wednesday.  Do you suppose this will become an ever Wednesday occurrence? Only if I let it.

I now have the rest of the day to decide if I should go to the grocery store or head out to the ribbon shop for the extra bolts of ribbon for the thirty center pieces I need to get done for the next State function at the Hilton Hotel being held  in Ontario.

I have been feeling like I really need to re-evaluate my life and sit and have a good talk with myself.  Sometimes I feel like things are spinning out of control and I don't know how to stop it.
I feel okay mentally and just need to start afresh.  The last two years have been a whirlwind, all self induced.  It's kind of stop the world I want to get off,  type of life.  I'm planning on getting off and getting off now.  I think when you get to be my age you had better know what you want and where you are going.  I can't take many more ups and downs.

Since I never had a partner and always had to do things on my own I should be able to come to come good conclusions.  I'm hoping so.  I'm not pleased with the way things have been going and I'm the one doing it to myself.

Desi emailed  yesterday to ask what I wanted to do for my birthday.  I emailed him back and told him I didn't want to plan my own birthday, but gave him a few suggestions.  He emailed back saying, "never mind."  I know he is swamped at work, but he'll manage to arrange something.  He is my take charge man.  He said he was just checking to see if I wanted to do something special.  Since this is Orange County, special isn't in the cards.....it is such a boring County.  Sometimes I just want to run down the streets screaming........there has to be more to life.

Take care all, more later.

TUESDAY...

As I thought, the Veteran man called me again and wants to take me to lunch tomorrow.  I said yes.  He is a nice man and I suppose I could do worse. 

Desi called me last night and wanted to know what was wrong.  It has just been a hard couple of weeks and I think I came across as "cranky."  He keeps telling me that none of us can predict the future, that is so true.  However, there are inklings of what might happen. He told me I was being negative and I told him I was being realistic. I am really unhappy about his probable move to Morocco though he says nothing is set in stone.  We'll see.

My operation is coming up in November and I'm not happy about that for sure.  It was the most miserable thing I have gone through and I hate to have to go through this whole thing again. Months of re-hab and pain. not being able to drive etc.  I could shoot the previous doctor for not having done it properly ad only doing a partial.

Tonight I  have a meeting and hope to get home early.  I've spent the day cleaning half the house.  I decided to let the cleaning people go and save the money.  Taxes are coming due on both properties and it is going to be tight.

So that is it for today.  I'm off to continue my dirt quest.

SUNDAY...

The event I went to last night was very nice.  It started really early, five o'clock, and was still going on when I decide to leave.  They had hired a singer that went on forever.  People were getting up and leaving after two hours of her being obsessed with her own voice. Sitting at the same table from five o'clock until ten thirty, was also butt numbing, to say the least. There are only so many converstaions one can have with people you don't know.

The food actually was good, chicken corden bleu or beef bourginon (probably not spelled correctly) and considering it was done by all volunteers it was surprisingly very tasty.  Lots of talented people in the world.

Today there was a tea that I decided not to attend.  Several hours ago I had a phone call from the manager of the club wanting to know where I was.  Nice to be missed, but since I was out Thursday, Friday and Saturday, it was time to stay home an regroup. I think everyone forgets I'm going to be seventy two.  How did that happen?

I sent Desi an email after our Friday night together thanking him and telling him what a nice time I had with him. He responded with "It was FAB! You looked great!!  I figured that would be the last I'd hear from him since he is working seven days a week and heading North again.  However, I just now received a phone call from him asking me where I would like to go for my birthday.  I mentioned a couple places and I will email him the information.  It is very hard to find a place in Orange County to have a good dinner and dance.

So another week starts with God knows what in store.  I really have nothing on my plate at this time except for one meeting.  I did hear from the Dentist by email and the Veteran man is lurking, so I'm sure the week will bring a few outings.   I go out with these men just to keep busy until Desi returns.  Pathetic!

BETTER.....

Life really is day by day.  Some days, you just don't want to get out of bed to function and other days are really good.  I'm beginning to thing that life is manic-depressive and bi- polar.  I must learn not to over react to everything that goes on even if some of it is not good.

Yesterday I was super busy.  I had an early morning appointment, mani//pedi appointment, car appointment and then I needed to get home to get ready to go out with Desi.  During the day I had three phone calls from the Veteran man, who asked what I was doing this weekend.  I told him I was busy, so that finally ended the phone calls, at least for the day.

Last night I had a phone call, while Desi and I were in the car driving South.  I thought it was someone I knew that has been calling me. I didn't answer it, although Desi wanted me to....he loves to cause trouble.  When I finally picked up my messages on my cell this morning it wasn't who I thought it was.  It was a man that contacted me from Las Vegas, a while back, who at this point in time is in Germany and traveling all over Europe.  He gave me a phone number to call him collect and said he was heading for Instabul, Turkey. Let me get right on that!   Why he couldn't wait until he came back to the States to call me is beyond me. 
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Desi again, drove three hours to see me.  He did interview with the Sheik's people the other day and now is going to London to interview again.  This time they are flying him over on the Sheik's private jet.  I know he will get the job that he wants.  He was so over solicitous last night.  He kept telling me that he wouldn't drive as far as he does to see me if he didn't like me.  When I told him I was not thrilled with myself for getting emotionally invested in him, he said he was emotionally invested in me too. That was sure a first.  He kept telling me how fabulous I looked.  It was also the first time he has ever said he missed me. He looked great.  Black jeans, black turtle neck and a grey tweed sportscoat.  My Mr. Beverly Hills.

It is the norm, when we go out together, for people, men and women to come up to us and tell us we look terrific together.  I can't tell you how many times that has happened. We do make a striking couple if I do say so myself.  We are both tall, we love to get dressed up and are usually over dressed, but make a statement wherever we go. I don't know why people feel the need to comment on us, but they do every place we go. My parents had that same effect on people

Desi loves me to wear high heels and I kid him about being a shoe fetish man....he does look at all women's shoes and comments if they don't meet his standards. He dislikes flats. We always are happy and laughing when we are together and people do gravitate towards us because we are having such a good time together. We both are outgoing and extremely social. We have a tendency to include everyone in our halo of light.  Not interverts for sure.

 I don't know where all of this is going, but I guess I'm going to take it one day at a time and not obsess about the time he will be gone and just enjoy the time we have together.  I do have a life, although a lot of the time it is screwed up by my own volition. I will find my footing.  It has been a rough five years or so and I just need to re-evaluate me.

At this point in time Desi is working seven days a week and at several locations putting out fires  He says he is running an adult day care for his Subs that can't seem to do things on their own without being babysat by the Boss.  He is pretty demanding, the German in him, I'm sure. A perfectionist.  That makes me happy due to the fact I don't like people that are scattered and slobs.

So, tonight I have a " date" with a women that asked me to an event in South County.  I know a lot of the people that are going, so it should be a nice time.  I'm hoping to put the first part of the week behind me and go on with the second half being pleasant and expecting nothing.

I should remember that every day brings something different.

Have a wonderful weekend.

ICKY WEEK.....

Don't ask.  This was the week that was and I'm still trying to get over things.  I won't go into everything that happened, but, not all of it was bad and some was horrendous.

Tuesday I met my old friend and his daughter for lunch for his eighyith Birthday.  His daughter came a little later and we had already had a couple drinks and had ordered lunch.  It was a delightful day.  After I left them everything went down hill.  Must make myself a note to never drink Gin on the rocks.  Lethal!

Wednesday, the Veterans man picked me up and took me to lunch.  He is an interesting man and was raised in Orange Count.  Actually he had a Grand Father, or maybe it was a great Grand Father that started Heidelberg College in Ohio.  Small world.  He called me later, after our lunch date, and said he had a nice time.  I'm trying other venues, but I don't think I'm giving anyone a chance.

My brother was back in Ohio and emailed while he was there and then called me from Denver when he got back to Colorado.  He had a nice time with the relatives and said that he and his wife were pretty much scheduled the whole time.  It is really hard to  to see everyone when you are on a short time schedule with his college events.  He keeps telling me everyone is worried about me.  It has been a roller coaster of a ride the last several years.  I'm ready for things to slow down and get back to normal, but only I can make that happen.

Desi called me several times to check on me.  He had just gotten back from up North and was at his ,projects in the Valley.  He is putting out fires everywhere.  Today, Thursday, is the day that he interviews with the Sheik's representatives.  He is coming to Orange County to take me out tomorrow night, Friday, and I'll find out then how things went. I believe he will be headed for Houston sometime this weekend.  No grass under those feet.

Some idiot cut the corner to close in a parking lot and scratched my back bumper while I was parked.  I have Color Me coming out tomorrow to fix the scratches.  I used Mr. Clean on the rubber marks.  Of course, no note from said "hit and run."

Tonight is a retirement party for a lady that has been in charge of events at the Elks.  Her Grand daughter dog sat Senora .  The place won't be the same, but then nothing ever is the same is it? 

Our weather is hot in the afternoons and cold and overcast n the mornings.  June weather in October, go figure. So, that is about it for today.

Things will get better, won't they?

FRIENDS...

Friends, what would I do without them.  When they are in town they are so willing to help in anyway they can.  One of my good friends ,Cathy, came up today to go to the grocery store with me and carry in the bags of groceries.  Yes, my back still hurts.  She  really was a help.

The doctor said be prepared for at least six weeks, which is what I've heard from everyone that has ever had the same thing happen to them. Terrific....I have way to much to do to put up with this, but I have been.  I've actually been home for days, talk about getting stir crazy.

Tomorrow I have a lunch scheduled for my male friend's eightieth birthday.  He called me yesterday to confirm.  He is driving way out of his territory and I'm surprised, as is his daughter that he is doing that.  We always have a great conversation, albeit not often, as we don't see each very much.  Maybe a one or two times a year thing.  There has never been anything between us but friendship, but we get each other. He actually gave me my first black kitten that live for twenty two  years.  Her name was Melissa.

Tuesday night is a meeting with the Vets and Wednesday a lunch with the District  man that is in charge of the Veterans programs.  This is purely social.  He called me last night, a little strange, to report that he had just gotten home from a weekend in San Diego.  When he asked what I did all weekend and I told him nothing but lay flat on my back due to my injury he didn't seem to believe me.  He thought I had a lot of dates.  Most people think that.  Truth be told, I'm home more then not, unless I'm by myself out there.  Men are usually afraid to ask me out from the general public.  Online is different, they are looking for someone.   Maybe they think I'll reject them.  I probably would, so their thinking isn't far off.

One of my other good friends told me to drink gin.  Her mother, who was English, swore that the juniper berries in gin cured any hurt one might have.  I think I'll go have a gin on the rocks and see if she was right.

Tally Ho!

SUNDAY....

 Overcast today and going its going to be in the seventies.  I have started addressing my Christmas cards, shows you how bored I am.  Getting an early start is probably a good thing since I send out one hundred cards every year.  This year it might not be as many as I have lost friends and relatives through death. I should probably pare the list down, but when I do I get a card from the person I have decided to eliminate.

I have been home this weekend sitting on my butt due to my back. Mikee loves it.  He keeps coming up to me and meowing his pleasure and wanting to sit next to me or get on my lap. Camille on the other hand wishes I would go away and never come back.

Desi called me yesterday on his way to another town to pick supplies up.  That was the excuse to find a Starbucks, but more to find the NY Times and Wall Street Journal. He is feeling deprived in the one horse town where  he is building his shopping center and restaurants. He said he was working this weekend to be able to come South next week. 

I was hoping he wanted to come back for me, but the truth of the matter is he has two meetings on Thursday with the Sheik's representative that wants him to come to Morocco.  He did ask where I wanted to go on Friday and named a place in South County that has a dance band.  Now, if I'll be able to wear heels and dance is the question.  I guess if I pill myself up enough I'll be able to do anything.


His purpose on calling me was to check to see how I was doing so I suppose that shows a little interest on his part.  When I said something about his meetings not making me happy, he said, "remember nothing is set in stone yet."  Maybe not, but the cement seems to be drying.

  I also mentioned that Morocco was really third world and he announced that Spain, Paris, etc were only an hour plane ride away.  Since he has spent years in and out of Europe and has lots of friends there I'm sure he won't be missing female companionship.  Read SEX into that statement. Do I really think he will be away for three years and be celibate, NO! Of course I can add that to my end of the world too.

My very good friend called me last night on her return from Oregon.  She was checking to see how I was doing.  One thing about my girlfriends, they keep everyone apprised on what is going on with everyone  They are taking me out for my birthday next month, the restaurant of my choice.  I decided on a continental Italian place, Pizzelle's that is close by and has terrific food.  It is a small place but very charming.

This is another week, coming up, with most days taken up with lunches, meetings etc.  We will see what time Desi will be here on Friday and then Saturday night I have an event to go to with another gal.  I"ll let everyone know, should you care,what goes on.

Ciao!

SATURDAY MORNING.

Another weekend.  Weekends are my most unfavorite days of the week. In California it is impossible to go anywhere, since the world is out there on the freeways, not to mention in the stores and restaurants. So I thought I start addressing my Christmas cards today.  Might as well make good us of my time.

My back is  still hurting and only feels semi okay when I pill up.  The pills, of course, are only masking the problems.  Everyone I have talked to says it will take a long, long time to heal and nothing can be done to help, only time.   Oh joy!!

Desi is still up North and working this weekend so he can get back South next week. He didn't find anyone that suited him to hire to oversee the job.  He can be a stickler and not many people measure up to his requirements.  When you have that type of personality you sometimes shoot yourself in the foot and end up doing everything yourself.

Last night I joined several people for drinks and dinner.  I've been really tired so I didn't stay long.  It is hard to be perky when one is hurting. On top of the back I've acquire a sinus infection that is dragging me down.

On my book. The Agency  has sent me some long thing about aggressive marketing, which I haven't read yet, and I can bet it will involve me putting money out which I'm not going to do. I think I will let my contract with them expire and then go from there.

I have a lunch scheduled next week with a man that I've known and worked with when I first came to California. He turned eighty and we will be celebrating that monumental birthday.  I'm hoping his daughter joins us.  He has kept in touch with me for over forty six years.

Other then that nothing much going on.  I hope everyone enjoys their weekend.

NEW THINGS HAPPENING.....

My back is still not good and I finally broke down and called the doctor...waiting for a call back.  I don't know if I need to use heat, cold, pills or just let nature take its course.  Desi has checked on me almost everyday, so that makes me feel a little better.  At least he is thinking about me.

I did meet the dentistry professor/dentist, age 76, six foot two.  He was very young looking and acting. Good teeth too.  A plus in the age range of men that I've met..  We had coffee at Starbucks, however, he didn't following directions and got lost and was a half hour late.  If I hadn't had my coffee and Kindle with me I would have said, "screw it." 

After talking to him, he has more problems then Desi....I suppose everyone has their baggage but shouldn't it be easier?  God this dating pool thing is the pits.  Not that I call having coffee a date.  More a meeting to dance around and see if you can stand each other. I really don't want to be looking for someone else to fill in the time. Why I'm still doing it is beyond me....maybe hedging my bets or just plain ass boredom.

Last night I gathered myself and my bad back together to go to a District Veterans meeting.  The leader of the pack, who I admired before at a previous meeting, only because he was a take charge and no nonsense guy, led the meeting.  He was very friendly and I felt the whole group accomplished a lot in a short time. He is also an ex-military man. that is something I've never been around.

Well, this morning he called me and invited me to lunch next week. I feel like I'm a deer in the woods and the hunters are out there taking pot shots. Lots of men, but no one I really want to be with. It is like being a deer when the moose and elk are in full rut and courting you they just don't know that a deer is the wrong species to try and woo.   It seems to be worse then it was when I was in my twenties.  Way over the top with guys that want to either date you or get in  your pants, mostly the latter I'm afraid. 

Desi told me to stop being so pessimistic and that he felt things would be okay and would  work out. He again asked, "did I want to stay in Irvine?"  I said no, and he then told me the people in Morocco were giving him an apartment to use in Paris,  Now, I've heard a lot of things from him that have never materialized and I can't get to excited about anything he says, but it would be nice to live in Paris. His favorite thing to say to me is, "RELAX."  Guess he doesn't know me, that word isn't in my vocabulary.

So, between my back, Desi, the men and life in general it has been hard to keep a smile on my face and not break down in tears.  Speaking of tears, my poor neighbor came over and was a mess.  She and her boyfriend are having problems and she had been crying for a week.  Between the two of us we were like the "Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head" song. Misery loves company, but at least I understand her.

Another thing was the operation on my knee has been postponed a week.  Probably for the best since the day before Thanksgiving probably isn't the best day in the world to have something done in the hospital, not to mention, as Desi pointed out,  Black Friday was the day after Thanksgiving and I shouldn't have anything done then.  Guess fate watches out for fools.

Went to Newport this morning for a doctor appointment and then met my friend Fran for lunch.  She too is having a hard time since her husband died.  Life just gets more complicated and everyone you talk to says it, so it must be true.

Tomorrow is another day!

I'M BACK......

There hasn't been a lot going on lately.  Most of it has been more then a little depressing.  To start the downward spiral I threw my back out lifting a 40 lb. kitty litter out of the trunk of the car.  I was suppose to go to the movies with two friends and ended up staying flat on my back over the weekend. It still hurts.

Prior to that, I spent Friday night having dinner with friends and then going out to a few places that just made me wonder what the hell I was doing with my life.  If anyone had told me that my life would end up like this, I would have told them they were crazy. I think part of my problem is that I don't perceive myself as old an you know what?  I am. 

I had a phone call from Desi, who went up to his daughter's house over the weekend to see his grand kids. He announced that he was going to be out of the country for two weeks in November.  Then he told me why.  He is going to North Africa to talk to a group of people about building hotels and restaurants.  He would be on this job for three years.  Hell, I might be dead in three years.  When I said, "I guess this is the end of things between us, he said, "he was thinking positive and didn't I travel.  Right!  I can just see me going to Morocco, which is where he is going.  This is a great opportunity and it will include, housing, car etc.  He did a project in Hawaii that lasted four and a half years so it won't be a new thing for him.  He will have to wind his other projects down here in the States. I am not happy about it but I always knew our relationship, if  you can call it that, was only for fun. 

I always knew that the road we were taking together was a dead end road, I just didn't think it was going to be such a short one. Not that I see him all the time anyway.  He will be coming back in two weeks and we will see each other one evening.  The second night of the weekend I have plans with a female friend to go to a function.  We will have a little more discussion about everything.  I know what I should do, but I don't know if I can at this point. None of this will happen until next year, but it will happen.

In the spirit of not letting any grass grow under my feet, I have a coffee date on Tuesday with an age appropriate man that was a professor at USC and taught dentistry.  He lives in Newport Beach and is at least near by.  I have found that the younger guys are still working and really don't have time.  Desi especially has a very complicated life.

There is also a man in Las Vegas that wants me to call him. He says he is retired, well traveled etc.  I'm thinking about calling him. I hate to start this hunt again for someone that I want to be with.  Desi will be very hard to replace and I'm not sure I want to replace him.

So with all of that being said, it is day by day.  Life always full of surprises some of them not so good.

Hugs to all.

HOME TODAY...

Last night I went to the Elks to pack boxes for Afghanistan.  Three of us did thirty boxes for shipping.  They include all the things from home that the troops don't get.  Beef Jerky, deodorant, toothbrushes, paste, candy, cracker, cookies and various other items to remind them of home. I always feel like a job well done," after we are done.

The twenty seven year old young man keeps emailing me.  I think he just wants a friend, as his profile said he was looking to connect with new people.  He lives in another State, so emailing him chatty things will be no harm, no foul.  At least I think it will be that.  Lots of different people out there

I returned home last night about nine fifteen and there was a message from Desi that said he was thinking about me.  That was nice to hear, although since I always state, "do think about me when your gone,'" when he leaves for his job sites.   I don't know if he is doing it for me or for him.  Maybe a little of both. It is a little satisfying to know that no matter which it is, he calls.  I returned his call and left a message on his cell.

I'm having dinner tonight with my good friend.  Haven't seen her for a while as she has been out of the State.  Time to play catch up.

Still more guys contacting me via "Match," but no one of interest at this point.  I don't think I'm really looking for anyone and since my book is done and at the Agency to find a Publisher I have more or less lost interest in the chase.

Back to center pieces.

RAINING AND COOL....

Yesterday was just beautiful with the sun out and the temperatures in the seventies.  Today it is cold and drizzling.  I think the whole state is on a rain alert.   Tomorrow is suppose to rain at least an inch, in the valleys, which is a lot for this parched desert.

Desi was concerned that since the parking lot wasn't poured at the job site and the ovens, etc were being delivered.The guys would be slogging through mud up to their ankles.  Construction is always at the whims of Mother Nature or something that throws things out of wack.

I drove down to my friend's house this morning and left a container of soup for her that I had made.  She wasn't home so I hung the bag on the door handle.  I drove back home and contacted my friend that I was suppose to drive to Sit and Sleep to get a box spring.  It is a long story of why he has a new mattress and no box spring, but I won't bother to go into it.  I'm picking him up shortly.

I had a contact from a twenty seven year old in Denver that said I was beautiful.  Now why in the world would a young man that age even be looking at someone my age.  Go figure!  Then another email from an Asian man my age that wanted to meet, who lived in Newport Beach. I have never been interested in Asian men, although this one sounded very financially well off.  I just can't go outside " my people"  for some reason.

I'm still feeling a little discombobulated and a trifle depressed.  Some of it has to do with the weather and some of it stems from the fact, that I'm not sure where I'm going with my lfe at this point. I also feel down after Desi leaves.  Maybe I shouldn't worry so much about it and let things fall where they may.  Seems to working so far, I think.

Tonight is a dinner and a meeting so I will be amused for a while. Working, still, on my center pieces.

Good day all....

INTERESTING WEEKEND....

Desi got here Friday as promised.  We switched days to go out since he was driving all over the place and didn't get to my house until six thirty or so.  I did make dinner after we had a few snacks and a drink. By the time we got everything finished it was almost ten o'clock or maybe later.  We had a hunt for the Navitimer planned for the next morning so it was call it a day early.

Desi gets up at dawn.  He needs very little sleep and runs on energy that always amazes me.  Now I don't know about everyone else, but when you get up that early, it makes for a long day.  I stayed asleep, five a.m. is way to early and he answered emails and did his computer work.   Since nothing opens until ten a.m. we had a while to regroup.  I made breakfast, then we got ready to get out of the house and go on the quest for the watch.

The shop that had four had actually three with one being repaired.  Desi was trying to make a decision between a white face Moonphase or a regular black face.  There was two thousand dollars difference between them, with the white being the more expensive. The black face looked the best on his wrist.  Being the big guy he is both watches would have to have additional links added.

He decided to think about the watches and go on to another Estate Jewelery store that I had scoped out.  We parked walked into another estate store that ended up not having watches, then to the store that I had found.  The store was not open.  I called the number that was on the door and left a message with the owner. 

We decided to drive down to Newport Beach and look at another place.  We walked in and the man, that I had talk to that week, was behind the counter and announced that the safe was locked and the owner wasn't there and lived an hour away. Do you sense a theme here?  I told Desi that it didn't look like he was meant to get this watch.

We drove to Back Bay for an ice tea and sat and watched the paddle boarders go by on the water. Since there really isn't anything to do unless you eat, drink, go to the movies or shop and none of those appealed we ended up going home. 

Now, I was not really aware of how ADD Desi is. He works seven days a week and is on fast mode all the time.  He has something gong on every minute of his day and this down Saturday was freaking him out.  I told him that it was  taste of retirement, that made him really upset.   Not only was it the first day he didn't have an agenda, other then looking for the watch, no one on any of his jobs sites called him. His take on this was everything was either great or going into he toilet. He was leaning towards the latter.

We had a long discussion about men having their jobs define them and that he couldn't go on at the pace he is going forever. He really was having a hard time with the whole concept of down time and kept saying that this particular day was strange and different for him.  He talked to his son in Houston, during a football game we were watching, and told him that he was "behind the Orange Curtain, and the day was really odd for him.  Although he did tell him he was having a good time. At least he likes being with me

We got ready in the early evening to go out to dinner and dancing.  The dance clubs in Orange County are hard to find so we went to the Balboa Bay  Club.  This particular night was a mess.  The band was horrible and they played icky music and the singer was off key.  We had two drinks and decided to leave.  We did manage to dance a couple slow dances.  We drove to Laguna Beach to see another place that from the outside looked like a dive bar on steroids.  We didn't get out of the car but decided to just go home and call it a day.  It was a strange day all the way around.

Desi left at noon, Sunday, after making his run to Starbucks and for the New York Times. We talked about our mutual attraction, although he said, "if Sophia Loren came into his sight, " I'd be culled from the herd." Nice!  No chance of that, at least I don't think there is  He announced that on his drive up North, today, he was going to contemplate his retirement.  I don't think it has ever dawned on him that life changes and nothing is ever the same.  At least we have him thinking about it. Interesting that as smart as he is, this wasn't something he had thought about. 

I was in a strange mood too, on Sunday. He kept asking me "what's wrong?"  I honestly couldn't tell him.  There just is a little unrest showing up on my radar for no good reason.  I said something about being "Casual Lucy" and he said I wasn't casusal. Anyway, that was my odd mood showing up that went away, somewhat. We are a contemplated twosome. Although everyone we run into thinks that we look great together and we get a lot of conpliments from perfect strangers.

I will stop rambling.

Bye all.

DINNER REPORT....

The dinner with Lucca's was wonderful.  Not only was the food good, the wine steward was very knowledgeable and since we waited a little for anyone to come to the table upgraded my glass of wine to Chateaunuf de Pape (I think that is how you spell it)  What a smooth wonderful wine and at $95.00 a bottle it better be.

The man I had dinner with was thrilled with being on Match.com.  He had located a friend that he knew in high school and will be taking her out. He is my age, but still working or rather working at not working.  He develops mobile home communities and has done that for over twenty years.  He was a good conversationalist and I guess at our age we should be able to communicate.

After dinner he walked me to my car and asked if he could take me out to dinner again.  I said, "I'd see."  It depends on how bored I am when he asks. Again, although he looks like Desi, he isn't Desi.

Desi didn't drive back on Thursday as he said he was going to.  He can't find a person to take over the supervision of the job he has going on up there.  He is coming to see me tonight.  He is about two hundred and fifty miles away and on a Friday that will probably be a good five hour drive for him.  I told him we would switch days and go out Saturday.  He said he didn't care which day, but from past experience I have found he pushes himself and either is so tired, and won't admit to it, or so stressed, his mood isn't the best.  I've learned to just allow him his quirks....I certainly have mine.

So until he shows up tonight I'm taking care of me and the house.

Have a great weekend.

MOVING ALONG STILL....

The pet sitter came over to the house to be interviewed and she was another gem  She has been doing this for a living for thirteen years and has great references. So, I engaged her for November 23, the day I'm going into the hospital to have my knee surgery and for however long it will be necessary to have her take care of Camille and Mikee. She will come in twice a day to feed and clean out the litter box.  So, that is another big thing off my mind that I was worried about.

I had lunch with the man from the District Elks, that wanted to show me a new place.  We had a nice lunch and talked and interacted with all the people that were around.  Also met another gal, that is a rep for Sherwin Williams with the automotive paint division.  We all made plans to go to lunch in Orange in a couple of weeks.

Desi emailed me back after I gave him a list of logo's for the Breightling watches and also a list of what he could have for dinner Saturday night as I told him I'd cook since I think he needs some down time.  We are going out on Friday and then traveling around Orange County to look at watches on Saturday during the day, so he can make a decision.  He made his choice for dinner,and being the salacious little devil he is, included me on the menu for dessert.  That man always thinking ahead. :) One would think we are teenagers. It's such a great feeling not to feel old.

I had lunch today with two friends and tonight I have an Italian dinner at Lucca's with a male friend who is looking for a new girlfriend.  He has one that he is taking out on Friday night and wants to discuss her with me.  It's a free dinner, so why not.  I certainly have no romantic interest in him but I do like talking to him.

My young school teacher man, that emailed me profusely last year, popped up on email again.  It is interesting that I seem to cross their minds and they decide to email to say hello. This has happened so many times with so many different men. Most are ones that I haven't met. 

The other email I had was from a guy that has been online for months.  He has a girlfriend but thinks I can't live without him.  I told him about Desi, but he wants to meet.  I'm not meeting him now or ever.  I told him if he was cheating on his girlfriend I had no interest, plus why would I want to envolve myself with someone that is obviously just looking for a roll in the hay. Go find someone else.

I am perfectly happy with the way things are between Desi and myself.  He keeps me interested and we have a good time together.  I don't want marriage and a long term committment is not something I want to entertain at this point, if ever. So, it is what it is and good for us.

Onwards and upwards. 

BRUSH OFFS...

The nutty man that lives in LA with the jet showed up on IM yesterday.  I had a fairly short text with him.  I told him, yet once again, that I didn't consider emailing back and forth a relationship.  He is very foreign (beware!!) and certainly throwing up way to many "red flags" for me to entertain ever meeting him. 

I actually did tell him that,  and he of course said he didn't understand what I meant.  He came back and said I had a temper and was pissed and would get over it.  I told him, "I wasn't pissed, just done, and as far as I was concerned this game he was playing was over.  I don't care if he has a jet, billions of dollars or whatever it is, strange is just strange. I also told him he was wasting both of our times.  He finally came back and said, "okay, I'll come down to meet you, although I'm really busy and don't have time to meet ordinary people."  Ordinary, what the hell!  I told him I was far from ordinary and I didn't want to meet him and for him to stay put.  He came back and said, I took it the wrong way. Really, I don't think so.   I finally got tired of the idiocy of the whole thing and signed off with Ciao and don't bother me again.  This has happened with a few of the guys I've been contacted by, but this one was by far the strangest.

The girls dinner in Laguna Beach at my friends wonderful condo that literally sits almost in the ocean was great.  We laughed a lot and sat around the dinner table  until 11:00 p.m.  I got home around 11:45, Mikee wasn't happy since he hadn't received his treats yet.  That cat lives by routine and God forbid I should deviate from his schedule.  He does punish me one way or the other.

Desi called this morning from up North.  He was complaining that the town was so awful there wasn't even a Starbucks.  Now he lives by going to Starbucks for coffee and his NY Times newspaper.  He said he drove to another town to do just that.  God forbid he should be in Starbucks withdrawal. He also didn't have much luck talking the guy he wanted to baby sit for him to do just that.  He said he would be back either Wednesday or Thursday and we were still on for the weekend.  We'll see, with him there is no planning.

He did get my email of the picture of the two Breightling Navitimer watches I sent him, but wherever he is staying didn't have a working WiFi. and his Blackberry didn't show it very well.  I'm just proud of myself actually taking a picture and sending it with a message on my iPhone.  WooHoo!

I'm trying to get things done here today.  Washing clothes, wrapping my Great Nephews birthday gift that I need to get out tomorrow.  A new pet sitter is coming to be interviewed at six tonight.  My regular gal is gong to be in Texas when I need her to take care of the cats when I have my second knee surgery.  I need a back up anyway so I'm hoping this works out.

Off to finish my chores.

ANOTHER WEEK....

This week went by so fast even though I wasn't as busy as I usually am.  Two lunches, one on Wednesday and one Thursday.  Today I had a lunch meeting.  Seems everything is done around food and keeping my weight off is a matter of thinking about what I'm eating  most all the time.

Last night I went to a function in Newport Beach. It was fun and I met new people.  I left fairly early and returned home around eight in the evening.  I remember the days I was out until four in the morning...those days are sure gone forever.
\
The meeting today was one about getting younger people involved at the Elks Lodge and although I'm not going to be available to help out this time, I met with the two chairman to see what they wanted to do and what they might need in the future. Although with another operation in the offing, I'm not sure I'll be much help for a long time. I'm a little tired of involving myself in so many things and next year I will be backing off a little.

I've been on a quest for Desi, not that he asked me to do this, but since he is tied up with work I thought I'd check some things out for him.  He is hunting for a Breightling Navitimer men's watch.  He would like a vintage one, but they are hard to find unless you want to buy them online.  He is still a person that wants to touch and feel something he is purchasing.  I don't blame him since these particular watches cost thousands and thousands of dollars, old or new.

So, I'm checking out jewelery stores that may have them in Orange County.  Again, they are hard to find due to the fact that this economy doesn't warrant a store putting a lot of money out to stock a watch that may sit there forever.  I have managed to locate four stores and a pawn shop that have a couple Breightlings and when we see each other next week we will go on a watch hunt.

Why he wants this expensive of a watch is his business, but since he bought a watch in Italy that was seven thousand dollars and then lost it, he has a bad habit of taking them off when he washes his hands, (they aren't water proof) you would think he would at least insure them.  He didn't, so there was a ton of money down the drain. (no pun intended.)  One would think he would buy something a lot cheaper.  Again his business, but I know I wouldn't be investing that much money in something that may go bye bye. At least it isn't a thirty five thousand dollar Rolex.

At the very beginning of our relationship ,( if you can call what we have a relationship,) prior to him leaving for Paris last year, he called the house and asked if he had left another watch he owned behind.  He hadn't and I don't know if he ever found it, guess not as he bought a new one when he was in Europe.  More money then sense my little boy.

On to other things.  After the meeting today I sat with a man that I know that is very personable.  He is a good sparring partner, verbally and it was fun to sit and talk with him.  He was with another couple that joined in the conversation. He asked me to go to lunch on Tuesday next week to see a place I hadn't been before.  I have no interest in him, other then a friend, but enjoy his company. He is going through another divorce and just seems to want to talk about it.

Tonight I met friends for drinks and another guy that I work on the Veterans programs with, that I haven't seen for a while, was there.  We too had a nice conversation.  I had one drink and decided after I talked to him for several hours that it was time to go home.

The odd man with the jet sent me an email that said when I was serious to let him know.  What?  I emailed him back and said how was I ever suppose to answer that one when I had never met him.  I don't want to, he is just to wierd.

My friend, who is here from Oregon is coming early for us to go to breakfast.  Then tomorrow
night is a girl's dinner in Laguna Beach.

Can't wait for Sunday to rest.  I think I'll need it, not to mention not ingest any more food.

REALLY EARLY.....

I woke up really early this morning, 4:30.  Don't ask me why.  I did manage to stay in bed until 5:00 a.m. and it would have been longer if Mikee hadn't decided he wanted me up to give him his treats.  We have a ritual every morning where he gets his treats prior to his breakfast.  Camille, for some reason, didn't want anything this morning.  So here I sit at dawn.

I sent a text to Desi late yesterday afternoon asking him how his week was going since the last time I talked to him it wasn't going well.  He called me instead of texting me back and said he was still stuck up North.  He had to fire the Superintendent that needed a Supervisor and was the elected over all seer for the project until he found someone in his company that could come up to take over.  So, that means no Desi this weekend.  If nothing else, he has a great work ethic and is so organized he gets things done. Must be the German in him.

Desi  was planning on coming back today, but now it is going to be next week.  He said he would see me on Friday and Saturday, but I know not to depend on that.  I'm sure he will really try, as he always does, but his schedule is just crazy and he has several large jobs on the burner that take up a lot of time.  Commercial construction takes a lot of doing. My friends think I'm crazy, but whatever it is that Desi and I have, it works for us.  It is a little like seeing someone new, that you really like, every time he shows up.

I'm really busy with things and this Thursday is a dinner and Saturday is a girls dinner in Laguna Beach.  Saturday morning I have a breakfast planned with a friend of mine that is here from Oregon. I could fill up every day but sometimes you just need down time.  I managed that for several days in a row the last couple of days.  I actually got a decorator piece done yesterday for the podium for the Fashion Show and need to get my garage organized soon so I can work on remaining center pieces,

I'm meeting a friend for lunch today and picking up the donated cases of wine that will be part of the center pieces for the Fashion Show, a doctor appointment and a stop at some friends to pick up a catalog I loaned them several months ago.

Tonight is also a Renovators meeting to talk about redoing the landscaping at the Elks Lodge.  As busy as I am, I still get bored once in a while.  I think if I don't have something to do every minute of the day I think I'm missing something. Must quit that! I need to get motivated to do somethings around the house, like organize my cabinets in the kitchen,  talk about boring.

I had a call last night from a D.A. I know  that just returned from a vacation in Viet Nam, (who goes there to vacation?)  He actually is a Viet Nam Vet and there was some sort of reunion there for the men that were in the War in the sixties. He said he was just checking on me to see if I was okay. He is married and again, I have no interest in him, but we have been friends for several months and I see him once in awhile.   He would like more, but I have no interest in married men. 

The Red Flag man that I said I didn't think I was going to meet sent me an Instant Message yesterday, that I didn't anwer.  I'm hoping he gets the message. He didn't call, so perhaps he did.

I'm off to get another cup of coffee. 

Hugs to all.

ERRANDS...

Yesterday was a ton of errand running, mostly in Irvine. It was a pretty quiet day.  One exception was I had a call on my cell while I was driving, from the man I had an impromptu dinner with Friday night..  He said he had something funny to impart.  He asked what I would think of someone that said,"I got up this morning."  WHAT? He wanted to know what I made of that statement.  Now how weird was that?  I think he just wanted to call me and needed an excuse.  That basically was all he said and then said, "go on with your day."  Am I missing something?  I have no interest in this man whatsoever.  He lives in a mobile home, has physical problems and although very pleasant, not my type at all. He was just new on one of the sites and I had told him to keep looking so he could find someone that suited his needs, whatever they may be. Everyone is so different.  I think I'll just stay with the devil I know.

 I need to get my act together today and do somethings around here.  Take care all.

ALWAYS A CHANGE....

The Italian night was fun, to much fun.  It was cooked by volunteers that were Italian and the food was very good. It included antipasto salad, garlic toast, Penni pasta with sauce, Italian sausage, Chicken Marsala and Spumoni.  Of course wine too.

Sunday morning I received a text from Desi who was still stuck up North with beau coup problems on a job site. He said to go on with my day since he wouldn't be returning until the middle of the week.  Seems his supervisor on the job needed a supervisor.  Desi said that the job was ten days behind and it was going to cost, plus he may have to fire the man that was suppose to be in charge and not doing a great job of it. Construction has so many aspects to it and if everyone doesn't do what they are suppose to it throws everything off.

Desi called me later Sunday afternoon and was more then upset.  He said he was hot, tired and dirty and totally disgusted with his man that was suppose to be running things for him..  He was headed home on Wednesday and promised either Thursday or Friday to see me.  If I have learned one thing it is to not count on plans with him.  He has such a complicated life, between work, family and driving and flying all over the place he is stretched to the limit.  It all works for me.  No twenty four seven and it allows both of us to do what we need to do. It is like the first time everytime we see each other and that is on both sides.

I finally got the picture of the two of us that was taken at a friends bithday party.  If I must say so myself we look pretty good.  That day the humidity was fierce and my hair showed it, but that not withstanding, we look good together.  I told Desi that I was putting the picture next to my bed
so I  would remember him..  He thought that was a fine idea.  I also managed to scan the picture in to the computer, a first for me, and sent him a copy.  I have a copy for him  when he comes the next time. I was kidding my friend saying it was hard evidence.

Now, on to a problem man who I haven't met yet and don't want to.  This is the man that has a private jet, builds Wal-Marts and grocery stores and is from Europe.  His accent is heavy and I can't decide if he is Italian, he says his mother was Italian, or something else. His name is not Italian.  His heavy accent also doesn't sound Italian. He calls and emails but I still have many red flags when it comes to him.  He is a little to religious, Catholic, but over the top with it and doesn't hesitate to tell you about his devotion to the Church.  Right up my alley,  NOT!  He is looking for someone to marry and travel with, it won't be me.  I have found it doesn't matter how much money a man has, if he is wierd, he is wierd.  Not to mention I haven't met him in person.

I find it interesting that out of all the men that I've seen or been contacted by, there is only Desi that I want to see and be with.  I thought I"d be able to find someone, near my age, that might be a keeper, but so far I haven't and I've almost given up looking.  Actually I have given up looking.  I just need to focus in on my life and enjoy the remaining time I have left on this earth and make the most of what I've been given. 

We are all blessed by so much.

THINGS CHANGE....

I was driving home yesterday and heard my cell phone ding loudly. That usually means I've received a text message from someone. I pulled up to my house and looked at the message and it was Desi.  He said he never got out of his office up North and he asked if I'd I be around later in the afternoon, as he was leaving his office around three and wanted to come to see me..  He is about seventy eight miles away and after three  o'clock the traffic in LA is beyond.  I told him I was home for the duration and to come over. He said it might be a while but he would be there.  If you remember he was leaving to go further up North on a job and wasn't going to see me until Sunday.  We hadn't seen each other for almost three weeks and "Memorex" for both of us was getting pretty old.

He called several times on his way down and it seemed that every freeway had an accident on it.  I will say, if nothing else, he was determined to see me hell or high water.  It took him four hours to get to my house and he didn't arrive until seven in the evening.  Amazing how determined a man can be when it is a booty call. Not that I'm complaining. It also turned out to be a good conversation between us.

The worse thing, for him, was he needed to leave my house to go home, fifty miles, to pack, then leave for a three and a half hour or more drive for a seven in the morning meeting.  I don't know how he does it. He functions on very little sleep. I asked why he didn't pack before and he said he wasn't planning on coming South, but things change.  Lucky me!

We had a great conversation about how perfect we were for each other and if anyone had told us this would happen we would have called them liars.  There is such a strong connection that every time we see each other it is like the first time and the bloom isn't off the rose yet.  It makes it nice that we both have separate lives that allows each other to do what we need to do. It will be probably never go anywhere between us ,but it sure is fun traveling the road, wherever it might lead.

I texted him this morning and told him I  hoped he got some sleep and made it to his meeting.  I also added a few other things to which he answered, "ditto".  I swear to God I feel like a teenager again. What fun and without all the angst.

Desi is coming back around two in the afternoon on Sunday.  He said he would make up for the short visit and we could do anything I wanted to do.  I'll have to ponder that and see what I come up with.

I was suppose to go to a friends house for dinner with the girls tomorrow night, Saturday,  but it got cancelled.  One of our very good friends has a twisted hip and the gal that was having the dinner is staying with her to help. Since that got cancelled I found something else to do.

I had lunch at the Elks today with some people from Newport Beach and they asked if I was coming to the Italian Night.  Since it is cooked by volunteer Italians it should be great.  At the time I said no because of the previous dinner plans.  When I got home after doing a ton of errands I got the message the dinner was cancelled so I called a friend to get a seat, if possible, at her table.  So I do have something to do and another friend to go with to the event.

I also talked to my wonderful brother today and that was good.

Life is busy and going along in a positive way. I figure I better enjoy everyday, one doesnt' know what will happen so bask in the light while you can..

MEETINGS....

I, for one, will be so glad when this fashion show I'm co-chairing is over.  There have been so many meetings, obstacles and things to do it has become way to time consuming.  Not that I have a ton of things to do otherwise but dealing with a million things, especially when you have to check up on people has become a little over the top.

I still have the man texting me on Yahoo Messenger that lives in LA.  He did call me on my cell, but has such a strong accent that it was hard to understand him when he called.  I'm finding out a little about him and his private jet, building Wall Marts and grocery stores isn't my main interest with him.  It would be nice to finally have someone with money, but those men can sometimes be jerks and it isn't about the money for me. (maybe it should be.)  Whether anything transpires with him remains to be seen.  He was in a bad relationship and is very skittish.  I can't be bothered with trying to repair the damage someone else did.  My whole theory is move on. I always want to be very cautious and there have been a couple of red flags that I'm weighing after chatting with him.  He sounds more then a little possessive and perhaps jealous.  We'll see.  My instincts are usually right and I have no problem cutting him off at the pass should he prove to be the above.

Desi is coming this Sunday.  He is in Northern California for several days to check on the job up there and was waiting today for the utility company's to show up.  Everyone seems to be so busy, me included.  Of course, no matter who or what, Desi is still my choice.  He makes me laugh and that is good.

I'm off to have a luncheon meeting and then back home.  Another meeting tonight. Lord, it is like working again without the pay.

Off now!