There hasn't been a lot going on lately. Most of it has been more then a little depressing. To start the downward spiral I threw my back out lifting a 40 lb. kitty litter out of the trunk of the car. I was suppose to go to the movies with two friends and ended up staying flat on my back over the weekend. It still hurts.
Prior to that, I spent Friday night having dinner with friends and then going out to a few places that just made me wonder what the hell I was doing with my life. If anyone had told me that my life would end up like this, I would have told them they were crazy. I think part of my problem is that I don't perceive myself as old an you know what? I am.
I had a phone call from Desi, who went up to his daughter's house over the weekend to see his grand kids. He announced that he was going to be out of the country for two weeks in November. Then he told me why. He is going to North Africa to talk to a group of people about building hotels and restaurants. He would be on this job for three years. Hell, I might be dead in three years. When I said, "I guess this is the end of things between us, he said, "he was thinking positive and didn't I travel. Right! I can just see me going to Morocco, which is where he is going. This is a great opportunity and it will include, housing, car etc. He did a project in Hawaii that lasted four and a half years so it won't be a new thing for him. He will have to wind his other projects down here in the States. I am not happy about it but I always knew our relationship, if you can call it that, was only for fun.
I always knew that the road we were taking together was a dead end road, I just didn't think it was going to be such a short one. Not that I see him all the time anyway. He will be coming back in two weeks and we will see each other one evening. The second night of the weekend I have plans with a female friend to go to a function. We will have a little more discussion about everything. I know what I should do, but I don't know if I can at this point. None of this will happen until next year, but it will happen.
In the spirit of not letting any grass grow under my feet, I have a coffee date on Tuesday with an age appropriate man that was a professor at USC and taught dentistry. He lives in Newport Beach and is at least near by. I have found that the younger guys are still working and really don't have time. Desi especially has a very complicated life.
There is also a man in Las Vegas that wants me to call him. He says he is retired, well traveled etc. I'm thinking about calling him. I hate to start this hunt again for someone that I want to be with. Desi will be very hard to replace and I'm not sure I want to replace him.
So with all of that being said, it is day by day. Life always full of surprises some of them not so good.
Hugs to all.
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