I have been sitting here this morning going over in my head the last couple of weeks. Since I went back on line, the flood gates have opened again. I never would have gone back online if Dez hadn't made it clear that he thought I should have a supplemental, his word for someone else, since he travels all the time. I frankly think he just wants to be able to do what he wants to do and that little word "commitment" doesn't exist for him. I know he has been hurt (haven't we all.) I will give him "A" for honestly as he told me from the get go that he only wanted casual. We are casual, but for both of us it doesn't seem like it sometimes. Dez thinks I've been going out anyway, and I guess I have, but not the way he thinks. He flat out told me that he thought I was to pretty to sit home. I've never thought of myself as pretty but I'm willing to accept the compliment. Now I wonder where he thinks a women my age finds someone other then online?
I have no intention of looking for someone that will be a permanent fixture. I did that for forty years and look where it got me. I know you never know someone no matter how close you are to them and that was certainly proved true with my long gone husband. If anyone had told me I'd be dating and going out with a myriad of men at my age I would have told them they were delusional. Also, if they had told me our relationship would have ended in the toilet I would have also told them, " no way!" I do wish things could have been different but it is the choices one makes and I have no one to blame but me.
There is a side to the coin that is good. I can pretty much date at will and these men do take me to wonderful places. The other side of the coin is there are an awful lot of frogs out there. I find most guys want someone permanently. That supports my one friends theory that you better read the obituaries and get to the guy left behind within twenty four hours or he is taken by the cassarole brigade. Of course there isn't a man in the world, unless he is dead, that doesn't think with his zipper. I don't care if they are twenty or eighty five. The part I don't like is fending them off. There isn't anyone but Dez that I feel a connection to.....something to be said for chemistry. Some of them are respectful to a point but it is always in their minds. This isn't a surprise but it is tireing.
I've been keeping busy with my house and trying to get things organized. I also have had a couple of wonderful girl friends that I've had lunch and dinner with in the last several weeks that make me laugh. We girls always seem to have a great time together.
Last night and this morning I've heard from four different men that want to meet. One lives seventy five miles away, one close by and the rest are about fifty miles. The oldest one is seventy four and has a large ocean going power boat, which he posted a picture of online. He says he will drive the extra miles because he thinks I'm worthwhile. It is amazing what these men will say just to get a date. I'm not sure about driving around with a man that age. I have found that younger guys seem to have a handle on that steering wheel thing and going out in the ocean on a large power boat is a concern.
My Judge asked me out and then thought perhaps he might have his daughter this weekend. That is fine. I heard from Dez, who is still in the South. His email didn't come through due to utility problems and he emailed late last night to say he would call me today. Since we are suppose to go out Thursday I'm not sure if he will be back or not. I'm betting not. I always put question marks after his name on my calendar. He is so unpredictable. Vet man sends me a text almost everyday and since we had such a nice dinner at the Yacht Club Sunday has been contacting me a lot.
I keep thinking I just need to pull in my horns and be happy by myself. I can pretty much do that most of the time, but s I told Dez I think everyone needs a person.....he calls himself my boyfriend and I call him my AWOL boyfriend. It seems to work most of the time for us, kinda
I do wish I could go back and change things but you can't change the past, you can only learn from it. You also can't predict the future. One has to live everyday for the day and try to be happy and have fun, at least to a degree.
I wish that life would be a little smoother and easier instead of a job. I know that I'm very lucky for a lot of reasons and I am happy most of the time. You can wish all you want but ultimately you have to make things happen.
I have no intention of looking for someone that will be a permanent fixture. I did that for forty years and look where it got me. I know you never know someone no matter how close you are to them and that was certainly proved true with my long gone husband. If anyone had told me I'd be dating and going out with a myriad of men at my age I would have told them they were delusional. Also, if they had told me our relationship would have ended in the toilet I would have also told them, " no way!" I do wish things could have been different but it is the choices one makes and I have no one to blame but me.
There is a side to the coin that is good. I can pretty much date at will and these men do take me to wonderful places. The other side of the coin is there are an awful lot of frogs out there. I find most guys want someone permanently. That supports my one friends theory that you better read the obituaries and get to the guy left behind within twenty four hours or he is taken by the cassarole brigade. Of course there isn't a man in the world, unless he is dead, that doesn't think with his zipper. I don't care if they are twenty or eighty five. The part I don't like is fending them off. There isn't anyone but Dez that I feel a connection to.....something to be said for chemistry. Some of them are respectful to a point but it is always in their minds. This isn't a surprise but it is tireing.
I've been keeping busy with my house and trying to get things organized. I also have had a couple of wonderful girl friends that I've had lunch and dinner with in the last several weeks that make me laugh. We girls always seem to have a great time together.
Last night and this morning I've heard from four different men that want to meet. One lives seventy five miles away, one close by and the rest are about fifty miles. The oldest one is seventy four and has a large ocean going power boat, which he posted a picture of online. He says he will drive the extra miles because he thinks I'm worthwhile. It is amazing what these men will say just to get a date. I'm not sure about driving around with a man that age. I have found that younger guys seem to have a handle on that steering wheel thing and going out in the ocean on a large power boat is a concern.
My Judge asked me out and then thought perhaps he might have his daughter this weekend. That is fine. I heard from Dez, who is still in the South. His email didn't come through due to utility problems and he emailed late last night to say he would call me today. Since we are suppose to go out Thursday I'm not sure if he will be back or not. I'm betting not. I always put question marks after his name on my calendar. He is so unpredictable. Vet man sends me a text almost everyday and since we had such a nice dinner at the Yacht Club Sunday has been contacting me a lot.
I keep thinking I just need to pull in my horns and be happy by myself. I can pretty much do that most of the time, but s I told Dez I think everyone needs a person.....he calls himself my boyfriend and I call him my AWOL boyfriend. It seems to work most of the time for us, kinda
I do wish I could go back and change things but you can't change the past, you can only learn from it. You also can't predict the future. One has to live everyday for the day and try to be happy and have fun, at least to a degree.
I wish that life would be a little smoother and easier instead of a job. I know that I'm very lucky for a lot of reasons and I am happy most of the time. You can wish all you want but ultimately you have to make things happen.
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