ANOTHER MEETING....

Last night I attended a meeting for the Marine Corp Ball.  There were six of us, in attendance trying to nail down more details for this event.  We sat down with the Manager of the Lodge and discussed what was available for dinner, band etc.  Time moves so fast, that most of this has to be finalize soon.

Veteran man was the lead in this meeting and since we don't want people to know we are seeing each other once in a while, he was pretty good at keeping things superficial, as I was.  We don't want people to know to much and in that place word gets out faster then a speeding bullet.

I had a call from the Chairman of the dinner for the State we are doing in April and she knew that I had been away for the weekend with Dez.  I have no idea how she found out but if one wants things to get around just tell one person and the rumor mill will be started. I guess people don't have their own lives.

I'm starting to feel that I should just stay home and be a recluse.  I'm more then a little tired of everything at this point and just trying to stay happy is beginning to be a struggle. I know it is a phase that will pass, but I'm tried of be upset most of the time for one reason or the other.

Vet man invited me to his house for dinner Sunday night.  I don't want to lead him on as my stupid head is focused on Dez.  I know I should just say goodbye to Dez, it was fun while it lasted, but I can't seem to get to that point.  You would think that at my age I wouldn't be so emotionally involved especially with someone so unavailable.

 I don't want to get married again but it would be nice to have someone you actually felt something for, be around to take you out at least once a week.  I'm lucky if I see Dez once in four to six weeks.  He leads a very crazy life filled with business, family and God knows what else. At least he is honest about who and what he is so there really aren't any surprises.  Just me thinking I can change things with him....

 I really do feel that he has way to much on his plate to have me for dessert. I've told Dez that the two of us are a dead end and he says it is a cul d sac....same thing as far as I'm concerned.  I talked to him Monday and haven't heard from him since.  He is traveling and I think may be in Florida so I will just lay low and not contact him to see what happens.  I have this feeling that after our iffy weekend it may be the beginning of the end.

Life is never easy no matter what your age.