Thursday, March 29, 2012

UPSET YET AGAIN.....

This morning I had an email from Dez who announced, after telling me he wanted to go to an event, that he couldn't do it.  His son and his wife in Arizona are having a baby and it may arrive that weekend.  I was more then upset.  I can't tell you how many times this man has cancelled on me for one reason or the other.  I understand this one but it doesn't make me happy.  If I hadn't asked other people to join us I wouldn't have been so mad.  I really should have known better.

I sent him an email back this morning that he answered by saying, "call me now."  I did and he said it was to early in the morning for hate mail.  I told him it wasn't hate mail but I was more then upset with him.  I also told him I needed to find someone else and his plate is way to full to have me for desert.  He told me I wasn't desert, yeah right, more like a side dish. We ended up practically hanging  up on each other and he said he would talk to me later.  I don't really care at this point if I talk to him or not.  I'm to old to be upset by a man that has his priorities set on everything else but me.

My saving grace, Vet man wants to take me out to dinner tonight and I'm going to go. He knows I'm upset by Dez and is willing to make me feel better.

I was so ticked off at Dez  that I decided to go back on line.  I had coffee this morning at Starbucks with a man that of course wasn't my idea of who I wanted to be with but he was okay and had some connections in the Marine world that we can use for the Marine Corp Ball.  I hate starting this dance again.  However, I figure I met Dez, or I should say he met me, online and he can't be the only man out there that I might have an interest in.  I need to understand that there isn't any future and it is a dead end with  Dez, not that I'm sure I want a future with anyone, and he has made it more then abundantly clear that we are casual.  It is my bad being an idiot where he is concerned.  I've cried enough tears through the years and I don't need to shed more. 

When I started this dating thing it was to find someone to go out with and be around once in a while.  This thing with Dez has been more painful then I expected it to be and I need to give myself a reality check. Your basically there for yourself and better not depend on anyone else to be there for you especially someone who is going fifteen directions at once.

So, we'll see what happens, who knows maybe there will be another Dez out there, only better.

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